Late-night hosts spoke about the controversial behavior of a small group of Democrats and Donald Trump’s continued destruction of the White House.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke about the vote to end the federal government shutdown which has seen some Democrats choosing to cave to Republican demands without restoring the healthcare subsidies which were initially threatened.
Chuck Schumer told his party he would give the deal neither a blessing nor a curse and would give no steer on how to vote.
Colbert joked that this was “bold leadership” and commented on Schumer’s “failure” in the situation.
The shutdown has caused major chaos at airports as air traffic controllers were being unpaid for so long that many of them stopped coming to work.
On social media, Trump attacked them, saying they would be “substantially docked” and he would hold “a negative mark” at least in his mind against their record.
“A negative mark in that mind?” Colbert quipped. “You know what, I’ll take my chances.”
He also wrote that he wanted them to be “quickly replaced by true patriots” to which Colbert responded: “Maybe I’m alone, but I don’t care if the guy landing my plane is a true patriot.”
He called Trump “an old nepo-billionaire who simply does not understand how hard it is for regular people to survive these days”.
This week also saw that regular people are not happy with the state of living, with a consumer satisfaction survey falling to 52.3%, the worst ever score dating back to 1951.
“Consumers have not felt this bad since we fed our babies cigarettes,” he said.
This week also saw Trump tout a 50-year mortgage in a supposed bid to help those struggling to afford home ownership, yet a study showed that interest would almost double from the standard 30-year mortgage.
Colbert called it “a big dumb policy that fixes nothing”.
He also warned that a new 107% tariff could lead to Italian pasta disappearing from shelves. “We are officially in a pasta-mergency,” he said.
Colbert joked that Trump’s destruction of the White House’s East Wing was “to build a massive compensation for his weird tiny penis” before moving on to his latest addition: labelling the Oval Office.
The host claimed that the font being used was called “luxury assisted living” before showing that when you Google it, the same font that comes up.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers started by talking about the House speaker, Mike Johnson, ordering Congress to return to Capitol Hill for the vote.
“I’m sure they would if only the flights weren’t all grounded,” he said.
This week also saw Trump write “Less crime more Trump” on social media. “Less crime sounds great but how could there be more Trump?” Meyers asked, before adding: “We’re maxed out on Trump.”
Last week saw Joe Biden speak for 30 minutes at a fundraising dinner. Meyers expressed surprise that it was so short, joking that “he usually speaks that long to the valet”.
Transportation secretary and former Real World contestant Sean Duffy warned Americans that ongoing issues over flights might mean that many will miss celebrating the holidays with their families.
“Oh no, I was so excited to discuss that Zohran win with my uncle,” Meyers said.
