Sean “Dog” Duffy is a legend in the lumberjack world: a three-time world champion in the 90ft lumberjack speed climb who is renowned for his prowess in mounting and rolling big bits of wood. Not just a lumberjack, Duffy also made waves on late-90s reality TV shows The Real World: Boston and Road Rules: All Stars. And now Duffy is parlaying his experience on Road Rules into his role as US transportation secretary.
Duffy has got a lot on his big lumberjack hands: transport infrastructure in the US is, to use the technical term, a hot mess. More than a third of the country’s bridges need major repair work or replacement. There has been little historical investment in railways and the country lags behind the rest of the industrialized world when it comes to high-speed trains. Meanwhile, there’s a chronic air-traffic-controller shortage, which was exacerbated by the recent government shutdown when a number of controllers, fed up with the dysfunctional system, took early retirement.
Don’t worry, though, Sean Dog is on the case! On Monday the transportation secretary held a flashy press conference with health secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr at Washington DC’s Reagan national airport to talk about his plans to usher in a golden age of air travel. The pair didn’t spend much time on the boring ins and outs of air-traffic-controller recruitment, which Duffy has made a few moves to address elsewhere. Nor did they discuss shrinking airplane seats or junk fees that force you to pay more for basic things like seat selection. Instead, they did a lot of pull-ups for the camera. Duffy did 10 pull-ups. RFK Jr, who is 71 years old, did 20.
I can’t think of anything more pleasant than … [being] surrounded by travelers who just worked up a sweat
Why were we treated to this testosterone fest? Because Duffy has a plan to make air travel more pleasant – and has managed to conjure up $1bn in grant money to do so – seemingly by transforming airports into wellness spaces. “Maybe I want a workout area where people might get some blood flow doing some pull-ups or some step-ups in the airport,” the transport secretary mused.
Paul Saladino, an influencer who has been a big believer in the “carnivore diet” and raw milk, was brought on to flesh out this plan. “What if we could create small spaces for Americans in airports to get mini workouts?” Saladino enthused. “Maybe some treadmills for people who want to walk near their gate … maybe some exercise bikes?”
Why not indeed? I can’t think of anything more pleasant than cramming myself into a tiny seat in a crowded airplane surrounded by travelers who just worked up a sweat doing pre-flight push-ups.
If the thought of stale sweat at 30,000ft doesn’t make you queasy, I have something else that might turn your stomach: RFK Jr paying tribute to “a mother’s breast”. The press conference touched on airports needing more breastfeeding spaces, which, to be fair, is a valid point. It’s just a shame Duffy and RFK Jr had to make it creepy and pronatalist by bringing on conservative podcaster Isabel Brown to talk about encouraging young women “to embrace the beauty of motherhood”.
Duffy has plenty of ideas for upgrading air travel. Last month he unveiled a civility campaign called The Golden Age of Travel Starts With You. The website explains that it’s supposed to “jumpstart a nationwide conversation around how we can all restore courtesy and class to air travel”.
If we’re going to have a conversation about civility, any chance we can start with the people, I don’t know, running the country? Steven Cheung, the White House communications director, is constantly posting on X about “cucks” and telling journalists to “shut the fuck up”. And then there’s Potus himself. Trump recently called a journalist “piggy” during a press gaggle on Air Force One, which is certainly one way to jumpstart a nationwide conversation about restoring courtesy to air travel.
Likewise, Duffy has a sartorial vision for this golden age of air travel; he wants people to dress up for their basic-economy flights. In a press conference before Thanksgiving, Duffy urged flyers to “dress a little better”. Don’t ask how you’re supposed to simultaneously dress fancy and use the airport as a workout space, by the way. On that he was unclear.
I’m not the only skeptic: various TikTokers are wearing pyjamas to the airport in protest against governmental entreaties to dress better. Even the Magasphere thinks Duffy has some weird priorities. “I’m sick of people in government going: ‘Well, the golden age of travel starts with you. Dress up. Be courteous,’” rightwing podcaster Tim Dillon said on a recent episode. “Hey Sean, no one has any money. No one has any goddamn money, you fool.”
Of course, that’s not entirely true. The ultra-wealthy are living in a golden age of private air travel. And I’ve got a funny feeling that you’re not going to catch any of them doing pull-ups at the airport next to the likes of me and you.
