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23rd over: England 107-3 (Root 11, Brook 4) Root steers Doggett through the slips for four, a deliberate, well-controlled stroke, and times a cut for two more. Doggett responds with an excellent delivery that keeps a bit low, beats Root and only just misses the off stump.
If England can get a lead of 200 – I know, I know – they will fancy their chances of a pitch that looks increasingly uneven. Right now, with England still 70 runs behind, Australia hold every single ace.
“On a positive note,” writes Stef, “at least this game lasted longer than the first Test. After that? I hear the weather’s nice over there!”
And Swans have just released a great new pop song. It’s the sound of summer!
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22nd over: England 101-3 (Root 5, Brook 4) Goodness me. Brook’s first ball seams back dramatically to hit the pad and is smartly taken by Carey. At first I thought it had bowled him; in fact Australia were appealing unsuccessfully, for caught behind.
Brook gets off the mark with a boundary to fine leg.
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Updated at 05.25 EST
Drinks: England trail by 80 runs
Harry Brook is the new batter. Enough said.
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We anticipated a gazillion scenarios ahead of this Ashes series. Michael Neser putting Australia 2-0 up via the medium of caught-and-bowleds wasn’t on the list – but he has taken two in quick succession to put the Aussies in complete control. Crawley scuffed an ill-conceived drive back towards Neser, who reached to his right to take a brilliant two-handed catch.
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Updated at 05.22 EST
WICKET! England 97-3 (Crawley ct and b Neser 44)
Another one gone!
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Updated at 05.15 EST
21st over: England 95-2 (Crawley 42, Root 5) A maiden from Doggett to Root. Pressure’s building.
“I wonder if Ollie Pope is not well served by Bazball,” writes Jonathan Wood. “He just doesn’t seem suited to it, and has lost his way. When he was just playing for Surrey, he reminded me of Ian Bell; and now he reminds me of the Ian Bell who struggled in the England team like little boy lost. Bell eventually found confidence in his ability to do things his way, and became the best English batsman for a couple of years. Maybe Pope needs to find his own way too.
“McCullum is all for players expressing themselves in their own way. If this is Pope’s way, he’s preparing like Spud prepared for job interviews.”
Our imaginary legal department would like to point out this is a metaphorical comparison, and that Pope doesn’t enjoy a little dab o’ speed before he goes out to bat. You might be right, though I still think the biggest problem is that he’s just not a No3. When he batted down the order in New Zealand last year he counter-attacked beautifully, and though he still took risks he seemed to manage them a lot better. I would also argue he’d lost his way before Bazball; remember that horror trot in 2021.
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20th over: England 95-2 (Crawley 42, Root 5) Carey is up to the stumps for both players with Neser bowling. An accurate over from him, just one from it.
Crawley has gone down the gears: 39 from his first 41 balls, 3 from the last 16.
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19th over: England 94-2 (Crawley 42, Root 4) We haven’t seen a pitch map but it feels like Australia are bowling straighter and fuller than England. That’s partly because the pitch is more worn so there’s a greater chance of uneven bounce; it’s also a better approach at the Gabba full stop, especially the length.
Root has started calmly, as if continuing his first innings rather than starting afresh, and pulls Doggett’s last ball round the corner to keep the stirke.
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“Pope shouldn’t have been facing that ball,” says Phil Harrison. “The last ball of the previous over should have been given as four. Yes, these grapes are rather sour since you ask…”
Fire up the Ultra-Processed Beef Maker!
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18th over: England 93-2 (Crawley 42, Root 3) Alex Carey comes straight up to the stumps to ensure Joe Root can’t bat outside his crease against Neser. If Australia get Root tonight they will be in a great position to go 2-0 up; England aren’t coming back from that, certainly not to win the series.
“Hi Rob,” says Patrick O’Brien. “Currently enjoying that under appreciated Swans B-side: ‘This is the least threatening Australian bowling attack in living memory and England should stop arguing about philosophical names for their approach and just get on with winning this Test because they’re clearly good enough to do so.’ Clocked in at a breezy – for them – 7:54, if I recall correctly.”
That’s 7hrs 54mins, right?
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That was Pope’s eighth innings against Australia in the Bazball era. Five have ended between 26 and 46, and he still hasn’t reached fifty. He’s no Magnus Magnusson.
Ollie Pope walks after another cameo. Photograph: Dave Hunt/EPAShare
Updated at 05.20 EST
WICKET! England 90-2 (Pope ct and b Neser 26)
We need to talk about Ollie. Another skittish cameo from Pope comes to an end when he punches a drive straight back at the new bowler Michael Neser, who leaps to take a smart two-handed catch. Pope goes for 26 from 32 balls.
Michael Neser celebrates catching Pope off his own delivery. Photograph: Cameron Spencer/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 05.11 EST
17th over: England 90-1 (Crawley 42, Pope 26) I thought Starc was into his work but he’s been replaced by Doggett. Perhaps he’ll change ends, or maybe he’s being saved for the arrival of Joe Root.
Pope hits two streaky boundaries – a drive that just clears cover and a flashing edge over the slips – before clipping three through square leg. Boland did really well to save the boundary.
“I don’t want to distract your audience from the unique experience which is watching Ollie Pope start an innings, but I feel duty bound to point out that the West Indies fourth innings in Christchurch is a joy for scorecard fans,” writes Rob Knap. “Kemar Roach’s 233-ball 58 is a personal highlight.”
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16th over: England 78-1 (Crawley 42, Pope 15)
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15th over: England 77-1 (Crawley 41, Pope 15) After an iffy first spell, Starc is getting into his work now. Pope is suckered into chasing a very wide ball that zips past the edge. England’s batters are magnetised towards that delivery.
“Does Ollie Pope has a spider in his undercrackers?” says Paul Turp. “He’s absolutely manic.”
I heard it was a marmot. But it may have gone now because he has looked calmer in the last 5-10 minutes. Calmer than you are.
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Updated at 04.47 EST
14th over: England 76-1 (Crawley 40, Pope 15) Pope drives Boland sweetly through mid-off for four. That’s a beautiful stroke, his best yet, and he is starting to look a little calmer. His heart rate may even have dropped below 150.
“Thing is,” says James Kettle, “Bazball removes the old idea that the primary motive in Test match strategy is the desperate avoidance of defeat. And I liked those stakes, and thought they were worth setting aside five days at a time to follow! No shade on those that like the new stuff but it does feel like a different format and the tragedy is you can’t have both.”
That’s a good point – although it was kind of dying anyway. Since the glorious rearguard in New Zealand in 2012-13, when Monty Panesar swam to safety, England have only once batted for more than 70 overs to save a game in the fourth innings. That was at Sydney on the last Ashes tour.
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13th over: England 71-1 (Crawley 39, Pope 11) Pope plays a more controlled stroke, push-driving Starc for three to move into double figures. Crawley borrows the cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof baton from Pope, eding a very loose drive over the slips for four. Careful now.
Another exhilarating over ends with Pope digging out a gorgeous curving yorker from Starc. Well played.
“Huge thanks for your recognition of the presumably quite small but very real Venn diagram of cricket fans/Swans fans,” writes Xav from Cardiff. “Proof that there’s at least two of every type of person.”
It’s just a great pop song!
Ollie Pope digs out a yorker. Photograph: Dave Hunt/AAPShare
Updated at 04.46 EST
12th over: England 63-1 (Crawley 34, Pope 8) Boland’s first poor delivery is dealt with efficiently by Pope, who flicks it to fine leg for four. He’s getting some unpleasant bounce, though, and twice hits Pope high on the bat during that over.
England, rightly or wrongly, won’t accept being a punchbag for Boland. Crawley proves that point with a gorgeous drive through mid-on – then fresh-airs a wild slap well wide of off stump. Compelling stuff.
“Inspired by your invocation of the mathematical Starc formula,” begins Brian Withington, “I am pleased to announce a comparison of first innings scores that has England way ahead of the opposition.
“The measure is of course standard deviation, the cognoscenti’s only true arbiter of an innings, and the England batters have utterly dominated with an SD of 40.9 to Australia’s rather shabby 23.0 – obviously I use N=11 rather than 10 in the divisor of the sum of squares about the mean, and will fight anyone who argues otherwise (although it does produce an even higher figure).
“England’s magnificent distribution reflects Joe Root’s 138* outlier alongside four ducks, whereas the conformist Australian batters were all confined to double figures.”
Does that make England’s first innings at Trinidad in 1986 an unqualified triumph?
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11th over: England 52-1 (Crawley 30, Pope 1) Oh, hi Starc! Yep, Mitchell is back to replace Doggett, a good move given the change in mood of both the match and the pink ball. Crawley suddenly looks nervous, wide-eyed, and is a bit fortunate when a thick inside-edge flies away for a couple of runs.
No real swing in that over from Starc, but he was very accurate and Crawley had to defend, I think, four of the six deliveries.
“It’s funny/ironic that the anti-Bazball folk often seem guilty of the same flaws that they accuse the Bazzers of having,” writes Alanis Morr- Niall Mullen. “A one-eyed refusal to believe that things could be done a different way vs a one-eyed view that things must only be done a different way. Who is going to care for all those babies getting thrown out with the bath water?”
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10th over: England 50-1 (Crawley 28, Pope 1) They said it changes when the sun goes down around here. That’s exactly what’s happening, with Boland and Doggett making the ball nibble just enough to threaten both edges of the bat.
A beauty from Boland nips back to hit Crawley on the pad and deflect through to Carey. Australia go up for everything, just in case there’s an inside edge, but it missed the bat and was too high for the LBW. Even so, these are excellent signs for Australia.
Boland has a better LBW shout against Pope turned down later in the over. Outside the line, I reckon, but it was close and Pope’s beans are going like a pinball machine.
This is outstanding, aggressive (in the sense of making the batters play) bowling from Doggett and Boland. England were 45 for 0 from six overs at tea; since the break they’re 5 for 1 from four.
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9th over: England 49-1 (Crawley 27, Pope 1) Another leading edge from Pope falls safely on the off side. After a strikingly serene performance at Perth, he’s like a cat on a hot tin roof again. An accurate, make’-em-play maiden from Doggett, who has started superbly.
“Like most people I do wish sometimes England would in key moments bat a little more carefully,” says Steve Hudson. “But the howls of hostility from many England fans towards the aggressive approach under McCullum is very depressing.
“It has its faults but Bazball has given us so many wonderful moments, and wonderful victories. Do they forget the absolute state of our team at the point Stokes was made captain? Here’s hoping Crawley scores a ton here batting left handed, just to bloody show them.”
They’re the most life-affirming England team I’ve watched, in any sport. But I understand the opprobrium because I’m fairly sure my 30-year-old self would have been howling with hostility. This team often make me think of a great quote in Christian Ryan’s wonderful book about Kim Hughes: “I have most admired him,” said Des Hoare, his captain at Subiaco, “because he had the courage and the ability not to become ordinary.”
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8th over: England 49-1 (Crawley 27, Pope 1) Ollie Pope, on a pair, almost goes first ball when a hard-handed leading edge drops just short of Boland in his follow-through. He gets off the mark next ball.
That ball to Duckett definitely kept low, grotesquely so in fact, so Australia will be targeting the stumps from now on.
The Australian fielders celebrate as Duckett is dismissed by a ball from Boland that kept low. Photograph: Robert Cianflone/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 04.22 EST
WICKET! England 48-1 (Duckett b Boland 15)
Scott Boland has struck in his first over! Duckett played a defensive stroke into the ground and was mortified to see, or rather hear, the ball bounce under his bat and onto the stumps. It must have kept a bit low.
Duckett’s poor series continues: he has 64 runs in four innings.
Duckett is bowled by Scott Boland as the ball bounces under his bat and hits the stumps. Photograph: Darrian Traynor/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 04.16 EST
7th over: England 46-0 (Crawley 26, Duckett 14) Brendan Doggett replaces Mitchell Starc and makes a superb start. He beats both batters (Duckett’s was a half-leave) and has an LBW appeal turned down when Crawley pushes around a nipbacker. Too high but beautifully bowled.
“English fatalism is my favourite meal, Rob,” says Eamonn Maloney, “but it’s a little early to declare Bazball Fawlty.”
Especially as, for the openers at least, duck’s off!
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The players are back on the field. A not insignificant two and a half hour session is about to begin.
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Teatime reading
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We receive a lot of emails to the OBO, so it’s rarely possible to read them all in real time. That was the case with this email from Abhishek Chopra about the last-wicket partnership of 20 between Scott Boland and Brendan Doggett – but it’s well worth posting after the event.
Any records waiting to be broken for the highest last-wicket stand between two people of Indigenous origin? The 1868 party must be looking at these two from up above with such pride.
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Tea/Dinner: England trail by 132 runs
6th over: England 45-0 (Crawley 26, Duckett 13) Too straight from Neser to Crawley, who puts him away through midwicket for three. Duckett mistimes a push at Neser that teases mid-off before bouncing short and scuttling under the fielder for three more.
Thus ends a good mini-session for England, who have shaved off a quarter of the deficit in only six overs. Zak Crawley played some brilliant strokes en route to 26 from 23 balls; Ben Duckett was busy but less fluent and was dropped by Michael Neser.
“Agree – McCullum will resign if we lose this series heavily,” says Joshua Keeling (see 4th over). “But you know what, there’s always a chance. This Test isn’t over, and there are three more after this. Now, if Crawley could just for once leave the bloody ball on the rise outside off stump, it would really help my blood pressure.”
If England save this Test, a Brobdingnagian ‘if’ despite this fine start, they will be on par with the 2010-11 team: draw in Brisbane, defeat at Perth. They’re coming home!
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5th over: England 39-0 (Crawley 23, Duckett 10) Crawley drives two majestic boundaries off Starc, the first through mid-off and the second through extra cover. This pitch is one flat mother.
Crawley, full of fizz after those two boundaries, tries for a third and is beaten. It was clever bowling from Starc, who pulled his length back in the assumption/knowledge that Crawley would want to go for the drive again.
A fine over for England though, 13 from it. Starc has figures of 3-0-25-0.
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Duckett dropped by Neser!
4th over: England 26-0 (Crawley 12, Duckett 10) Duckett haddocks the ball straight back at Neser, who puts down a seriously tough chance above his left shoulder. Careful now, Benjamin.
The next ball curves down the leg side for four byes. Not sure why it wasn’t called wide, and we’ll surely reflect on that when this match ends in a tie on the final day. Duckett hits his first boundary to end the over.
“Bazball has been brilliant to watch over the last few years,” writes Joshua Keeling. “It has revitalised Test cricket in this country, and been incredibly entertaining. But the stated aim has always been to build towards winning an Ashes series. And if they lose this series heavily, Bazball will have failed on its own terms.
”All that said, come on England…”
If England are hammered here, do you think they will move the goalposts and begin Project 2027 Ashes? Normally that’s what would happen but I’m not sure Key, Stokes and McCullum will be able to lie to themselves and each other. Certainly not all three.
Nesser reacts after putting down a tough chance to dismiss Duckett. Photograph: Jason O’Brien/ShutterstockShare
Updated at 03.40 EST
3rd over: England 18-0 (Crawley 12, Duckett 6) Thanks to Lee Henderson for directing us to the weather forecast for the last two days of this game: small chance of thunderstorms, 0.001 per cent chance of an apocalypse.
Starc beats Duckett with a beautiful outswinger, just full of a good length. Duckett clips confidently for three, then Crawley fizzes a clip to the square leg boundary. Give or take, the first three overs have gone perfectly for England.
“It’s clear after four and a half days of the series that Emperor Baz has no new clothing,” says Darryl Accone. “The Baz haute couture, ‘We trust in the process’, has been exposed for the sham and hauteur that it is. Baz sold Robert Key an empty wardrobe and the sooner England cricket divests itself of all three the better.
“Beyond process, Baz has selected a squad of batters who, with one exception, can’t or don’t bat; of bowlers who can’t keep line and length and are knackered after managing only 73 overs in a day; of a wickie who might flash the odd quick 20 or 30 but can’t catch. It’s genius, Baznosis, perhaps the most egregious act of mass hypnosis ever perpetrated on an unsuspecting (and suspecting!) public.
“Baznosis, Bazball: when it’s all over perhaps another urn, with the ashes of burnt Baz artefacts like that baseball cap, will be in order.”
Politely, meekly but firmly, I could not disagree more. This isn’t the time for that discussion, though. If the series plays out as most expect, there will be plenty of time for a Baztopsy. And for dreamers like me to defend a team that has just been plugged 4-0.
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2nd over: England 9-0 (Crawley 6, Duckett 3) Crawley offers no stroke to Neser’s first ball, which swings seductively but from well wide of off stump. A straight delivery is clipped confidently for the first boundary by Crawley; this is now England’s highest opening partnership of the series.
There’s a terrifyingly long way to go but England will be pleased with how they’ve started, and how little the new pink ball has swung. Yet. (NB: Clip contains adult language, probably, there isn’t time to check the whole thing.)
“England are f**ked, Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Unless something very strange happens. Desperate times call for desperate measures…”
Free George Davis!
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Breaking news: Mitchell Starc hasn’t taken a wicket in his first over
1st over: England 5-0 (Crawley 2, Duckett 3) Starc has three slips and a gully for Crawley, who pushes the second ball towards mid-off for a single. Duckett gets off a king pair with a slightly awkward defensive stroke – and then off a pair with a crisp flick through square leg for three. Not much swing for Starc, who goes wicketless in the first over for the first time in the series.
“I agree, the pitch does look good for batting,” says Andrew Goudie. “I’ll stick my neck out and say England will make Australia bat again.”
Tonight, presumably.
Mitchell Starc goes wicketless in the first over of an England innings for the first time in the 2025-26 Ashes. Photograph: Robert Cianflone/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 03.31 EST
Complete the equation
Mitchell Starc + new pink ball x twilight = ???
We’re about to find out.
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Cue operatic music England have been preparing for this Ashes series for three and a half years. Unless they ace the next three and a half hours, it will be over before the Radio Times Christmas edition has been published.
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Updated at 03.13 EST
“Does anyone have any good recipes,” says Paul Griffin, “or tips for getting lard stains out of carpets?”
Afraid not, but have you heard this great new pop song?
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