Thank you for Arwa Mahdawi’s article (Would an ‘Unsexiest Women Alive’ list be published today? Maybe not – but body-shaming is definitely back, 19 August). I keep hearing about the 1990s being a toxic period for women. But when exactly did that stop? When was this idyllic period in which body acceptance took place? Because I must have missed it. I would have welcomed a break from obsessing about my body, calorie counting, and from the feeling of being a total failure whenever I stopped running.
I was born in 1984, developed early, and was taught that the additional space I took up with my body was shameful. I remember the teacher calling me up to retrieve my test results as the classroom began a steady chant of “Mooooooo”.
At 41, I can’t remember a time when my weight was not connected to my worth. Whether it was family, friends, or perfect strangers, my body has always dictated how I was seen, if at all. Despite the celebrities who have promoted body positivity, only to lose weight and be celebrated later, it rarely trickles down. And I wonder if it is more for optics than reality.
I’ve recently gained about 15lb and started running again. Most days, I don’t feel as though I have a right to be on the path. I tie a jacket around my waist to hide my butt. On the bad days, I even go so far as to take a more isolated route. That extra weight means that there is something wrong with me and that it needs to be “fixed”. This has and always will be the reality for so many women. Let’s not pretend it ever went away.
Lindsay Kirker
Calgary, Canada
