\n<\/p>\n
W<\/span>hat were the last words Brandon Guffey said to his son Gavin? Four years on, he still struggles with this question. \u201cThat last exchange, it bothers me constantly,\u201d he says. \u201cI think I said, \u2018Goodnight, buddy. I love you,\u2019 and he said, \u2018I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u2019 I sincerely hope that\u2019s what I said. The truth is, I\u2019ll never know for certain.\u201d<\/p>\n The exchange happened in 2022, on a hot July in Rock Hill, South Carolina, where, just weeks before, Guffey had won the Republican ticket to stand for the state\u2019s House of Representatives. The election was three months away, Guffey\u2019s head was buzzing with politics, and he\u2019d spent that evening at a local event.<\/p>\n The house was still when he returned home just before midnight. His wife, Melissa, had gone to bed; his two younger sons, Callahan, 4, and Coen, 16, and both family dogs were sleeping too. The only sounds were the summer cicadas and the frogs calling from the nearby creek \u2013 and also the laughter of his 17-year-old-son, Gavin. He was gaming in his bedroom, headset on, talking with friends. It was the long summer break between school and starting college. \u201cI often say Gavin was living his best life at that point,\u201d says Guffey. \u201cHe\u2019d just got comfortable in who he was. He wasn\u2019t trying to \u2018fit in\u2019 or please anyone. He was looking forward to starting college and pursuing his dream of becoming an art teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>Guffey with Gavin.<\/span> Photograph: Courtesy of Brandon Guffey<\/p>\n A call came in on Guffey\u2019s phone. He wishes he\u2019d never taken it. The idea that Gavin might have needed his dad when he was unavailable, talking politics on the porch outside, is almost too much to bear \u2013 but in the hour that followed, Gavin\u2019s life hurtled towards darkness.<\/p>\n A friend request came in on Gavin\u2019s Instagram from BellaJanet28. They shared friends \u2013 their exchange shows that Gavin thought she was a volleyball player from a local college. Guffey still hasn\u2019t been able to bring himself to read the conversation that took place between them, but he knows that BellaJanet28 suggested a game of truth or dare, which led to Gavin sending intimate photos, and then a sextortion attempt. BellaJanet28 demanded money, otherwise the images would be shared with all Gavin\u2019s contacts.<\/p>\n At about 1.30am, Guffey saw Gavin on the landing, where they had that last exchange. Moments later, a terrifying sound, a crash, like a bowling ball, boomed from the bathroom, where Guffey found his son lying on the floor. The smell of gunpowder, the blood soaking into his socks, Melissa\u2019s screams, still haunt and horrify him. \u201cI\u2019ll never stop replaying it,\u201d he says. \u201cThey\u2019re etched into me for ever.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>Guffey at a press conference in Washington DC in February 2026.<\/span> Photograph: Bloomberg\/Getty Images<\/p>\n Guffey is a South Carolina state representative now, and a leading advocate for child online safety. In his own state he has seen through new levels of safeguarding. Just a year after Gavin\u2019s death, through Guffey\u2019s campaigning, \u201cGavin\u2019s Law\u201d was passed in South Carolina, making sextortion a felony and education about it mandatory in all schools. Last year, Guffey won more sweeping reforms that will require social media companies to activate safety features when users in South Carolina are under 16, including parental permission for the account, and prohibitions on direct marketing, the \u201cinfinite scroll\u201d, and automatic video playback, which are all associated with prolonged screen time. He has founded a non-profit, Less Than 3, which campaigns on these issues, and supports affected families; he regularly shares Gavin\u2019s story in schools, churches and community centres.<\/p>\n Now Guffey has written a book about it. Tomorrow Needs You is a hard, harrowing read \u2013 and brutally honest. In all sorts of ways, Guffey has blamed himself. Did his career play a part? Most of Guffey\u2019s working life had been spent in business, building up a landscaping supply yard, which he still ran, but in 2020, he had joined the county council and was now moving towards a seat in the statehouse.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a big seat. This was a big race that got a lot of coverage,\u201d he says, \u201cand Gavin had already gone viral in the middle of it.\u201d On a night out, Gavin had spotted the Lamborghini belonging to the basketball player LaMelo Ball, mooned beside it and posted the image on Twitter\/X. \u201cI gave him a speech about the Guffey name, and not to mess it up,\u201d says Guffey. (Gavin duly posted an apology \u2013 \u201cSorry Melo, I won\u2019t show my ass like that again\u201d \u2013 with two thumbs-up emojis.) \u201cGavin had seen friends lose college scholarships for something stupid they said on Twitter,\u201d says Guffey. \u201cTo him, everything stays online. These images were never going to go away.\u201d<\/p>\n Even putting his political career aside, Guffey felt he had failed as a father, as a role model. \u201cSitting there that night, I was already asking myself, \u2018Why couldn\u2019t he come to me? Was he so worried about being vulnerable?\u2019\u201d says Guffey. \u201cIt took a tragedy for me to really start diving deep into myself and saying, \u2018I\u2019ve been doing this wrong my whole life.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>Guffey at a committe hearing for online child sexual exploitation. <\/span> Photograph: MediaPunch Inc\/Alamy Stock Photo\/Alamy Live News<\/p>\n Guffey himself was brought up by a teenage mum, who was tough \u2013 she worked three jobs and carried a brick in her handbag \u2013 and taught her son to be tough too. \u201cShe was scared I didn\u2019t have a male influence, and she pushed me towards that masculine side where \u2018boys don\u2019t cry\u2019, you suck it up whatever happens,\u201d he says. \u201cMy entire family, this community, that\u2019s the mindset. Man up. Rub some dirt on it.\u201d<\/p>\n And then, there was the gun that Gavin had used to act on that terrible, split-second decision. It belonged to Guffey, who had taken it on a recent camping trip for protection, then left it on a high shelf, intending to lock it away. \u201cI didn\u2019t know that the majority of suicides are impulsive,\u201d says Guffey. He has since been told that the median length of time between making the decision to take your life and the act itself is only 20 minutes, but when there\u2019s a gun involved, it can be less than three. (Hence the name of his non-profit.) He has got rid of his guns now. \u201cI\u2019d been so focused on protecting my family from outside threats, I didn\u2019t realise the dangers that can come from within the home,\u201d he says. \u201cThe tool I had to protect my son ended up being the tool he used to take his life.\u201d<\/p>\n At first, the weight of grief and failure felt too much to carry. Guffey says he couldn\u2019t go 15 minutes without feeling he was breaking down. At times, he drank too much \u2013 to the stage of passing out on the path outside his home. It was his son Coen taking him aside and saying how hard it was to see his dad like this that served as a wake-up call. \u201cI was trying to numb myself,\u201d he says. \u201cI haven\u2019t cut out drinking but I don\u2019t keep alcohol in my house now. I\u2019ve learned that whatever emotion I feel when I start drinking is just amplified.\u201d<\/p>\n That talk with Coen marked a broader turning point. \u201cThe only way I could function was to think that two boys were watching to see how I coped, and I was teaching them whether I wanted to or not,\u201d he says. \u201cDads are great at giving advice. We\u2019re just horrible at following it. So what I\u2019ve tried to do since then is think, \u2018What advice would I give to Coen?\u2019, and then try to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>Guffey: \u2018I would love to see no social media for any minor.\u2019<\/span> Photograph: Mike Belleme<\/p>\n The immediate support from his community helped. From the night it happened, their house, he says, became like a \u201csmall city\u201d, filled with people who brought food, took the rubbish out, cared for four-year-old Callahan. \u201cPeople I was polar opposite of politically just came out to be there,\u201d he says. \u201cNothing makes you realise how silly half the stuff we fight about is until you experience loss like that.\u201d<\/p>\n Meeting Gavin\u2019s friends was another comfort. Just 48 hours after his death, Guffey invited everyone who had known Gavin to a local community space to share their memories. \u201cI knew Gavin as a son,\u201d he says. \u201cI wanted their perspective, a full picture of who he was.\u201d He discovered that when Gavin used to leave the house at 4am \u2013 Guffey had always thought he was going to the gym before school \u2013 he\u2019d really been picking up friends who\u2019d stayed out too late and were trying to get home. And the reason so many of Gavin\u2019s clothes seemed to get lost \u2013 and Guffey\u2019s too, including his hat which had gone missing \u2013 was that Gavin had given them away to friends. \u201cI wanted all the stories, no matter how mad or bad,\u201d he says, \u201cand they brought a lot of joy.\u201d<\/p>\n Gavin\u2019s phone had quickly provided police with a clear picture of the exchange that had led to his suicide. Guffey\u2019s first impulse was to pull out of the election and throw himself into the pursuit of \u201cBellaJanet28\u201d. Although Meta had closed that Instagram account after a subpoena, someone with the same profile picture and friends list, using the name BellaJanet30, was now contacting Gavin\u2019s family members. It isn\u2019t believed that Gavin had been targeted because of Guffey\u2019s career \u2013 it was probably a random approach \u2013 but the sextortionist had followed events since and was now demanding money from Melissa, Coen, Gavin\u2019s 14-year-old cousin and Guffey himself, in exchange for the images. One message featured a headline story involving Hunter Biden, superimposed with a picture of Gavin. The implication was clear.<\/p>\n <\/span>Guffey with some of Gavin\u2019s artwork.<\/span> Photograph: Mike Belleme<\/p>\n Two days before what would have been Gavin\u2019s 18th birthday, a little less than a month since his death, Guffey received a message from BellaJanet30 that said, \u201cDid I tell you your son begged for his life?\u201d, <\/em>with a laughing face emoji. Guffey messaged back, \u201cI will find you. I will end you. You will regret this.\u201d<\/p>\n Amid all of this, the prospect of \u201cpolitics\u201d, of fighting an election and serving the community seemed impossible. \u201cThe last thing I wanted to do was handle other people\u2019s problems. I didn\u2019t feel qualified any more,\u201d he says. Guffey told Melissa that he was standing down but her response was unequivocal. \u201cShe said,\u201d recalls Guffey, \u201c\u2018Absolutely not. You\u2019re one of the few people who can actually make a change. Go down there and save the next Gavin.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n In some ways, this mission has saved Guffey, too, and kept him moving forward. Where once, Guffey knew nothing about sextortion \u2013 one of the fastest-growing online crimes against children \u2013 there are now few who know more.<\/p>\n Guffey is a passionate advocate for the repeal of section 230 in the US which gives platforms legal immunity from the content they carry because it is user-generated. \u201cI would love to see no social media for any minor,\u201d he says, \u201cbut if the tech companies could be held civilly liable for what they are delivering to children, they would prioritise safety over profits.\u201d<\/p>\n The investigation into BellaJanet28 by the FBI and South Carolina law enforcement required new levels of patience, says Guffey. \u201cIt was like holding my breath underwater.\u201d The breakthrough came through bank verification numbers that enabled agents to trace financial transactions linked to the account.<\/p>\n In January 2025, the suspect believed to be responsible for Gavin\u2019s sextortion, Hassanbunhussein Abolore Lawal, was extradited from Nigeria. Guffey and Melissa attended his first court appearance in Columbia, South Carolina, where he pleaded not guilty to charges including child exploitation resulting in death, cyberstalking and coercion. \u201cI waited for him to come out, so full of rage and anger and anxiety that I cracked a rear molar,\u201d says Guffey. \u201cAs soon as he appeared, my wife just broke down and then it became about protecting her, not anger towards him. He wouldn\u2019t look at us.\u201d The pretrial is scheduled for December.<\/p>\n <\/span>Guffey with Coen, Callahan and Gavin.<\/span> Photograph: Courtesy of Brandon Guffey<\/p>\n In the short time since Gavin\u2019s death, there has been some progress, Guffey believes. \u201cFor the first couple of years, I was only getting calls from teens who were going through it, and I\u2019d try to convince them to go to their parents,\u201d he says. \u201cNow I\u2019m getting calls from the parents, whose teens have told them and they\u2019re coming to me for help.\u201d But nothing he does ever feels like enough. \u201cIf you were to ask me what I\u2019ve accomplished, I wouldn\u2019t be able to tell you, because it\u2019s go, go, go,\u201d he says. \u201cThat is my grieving. Everyone does it differently and this feels like what I should be doing. I have to use that anger sometimes, just to get up, get going and through the days.\u201d<\/p>\n Gavin has stayed with him every moment, he says, in a crowd, in an audience when Guffey gives a speech, and at home when he walks through the door. He sees grief as a kind of \u201cweather system \u2026 you\u2019re always under it\u201d, Guffey says. \u201cAnd you carry an umbrella at all times.\u201d<\/p>\n Though people often tell Guffey how \u201cstrong\u201d he is, that\u2019s not how he feels. \u201cStrength implies choice,\u201d he says. \u201cWhat I\u2019ve done has been survival. When Gavin died, I made a vow that his death would not be meaningless. My mission until the day I die will be to try and make sure no other teenager feels as trapped, ashamed and hopeless as he did that night.\u201d<\/p>\n Tomorrow Needs You by Brandon Guffey (John Wiley, \u00a321.99) is published on 22 October. To support the Guardian, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123. In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counsel<\/em>or. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What were the last words Brandon Guffey said to his son Gavin? Four years on, he still struggles with this question. \u201cThat last exchange, it bothers me constantly,\u201d he says. \u201cI think I said, \u2018Goodnight, buddy. I love you,\u2019 and he said, \u2018I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u2019 I sincerely hope that\u2019s what I said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":52456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[682,166,4033,6344,1925,632,1186,4124,7572,3446,12432],"class_list":{"0":"post-52455","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-crime-justice","8":"tag-abuse","9":"tag-children","10":"tag-falling","11":"tag-happen","12":"tag-heard","13":"tag-killed","14":"tag-online","15":"tag-protect","16":"tag-scam","17":"tag-son","18":"tag-vowed"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=52455"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52455\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/52456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=52455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=52455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=52455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}