\n<\/p>\n
I<\/span>t is a hangover from our school days that September can feel like a time for getting back to the grind. As in January, there is a sense that we should return as better workers, partners, friends and parents. This sense is even stronger now a culture of optimisation \u2013 has taken over \u2013 evidenced by the fad for adding \u201cmaxx\u201d to everything. Yet that can lead to disappointment and burnout, which Mental Health UK reports up to 91% of adults were at risk from over a recent 12-month period.<\/p>\n One antidote to this drive is to embrace a slower way of living. Rather than always rushing from one activity to the next, we could be enjoying life.<\/p>\n \u201cIn the age of digitisation, from work to socialising, we are seeing everything intensify,\u201d says Heejung Chung, a <\/strong>professor of work and employment at King\u2019s College London. \u201cBut by doing everything, we\u2019re also creating a culture where it\u2019s seen as normal. So you are not only creating a standard for yourself, but for everyone else as well. There is a creeping set of collective expectations that we can do everything, especially women, and we need to change it.\u201d<\/p>\n So say \u201cno\u201d to self-optimisation this September, and instead embrace these practical ways to slow everything down \u2013 from work to parenting.<\/p>\n More often than not, we feel as though we don\u2019t have enough time to converse with strangers in our daily lives, whether that be the woman next to you at the bus stop or the barista making your coffee. Yet taking the time to mindfully have a conversation with someone we don\u2019t know has tangible benefits.<\/p>\n double quotation markWhen we\u2019re busy, we feel like we can\u2019t spare time for other people, but if we never take that time, we\u2019ll never stop feeling busy<\/p>\n In Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life, Dr Gillian Sandstrom argues just this. \u201cResearch shows that even tiny conversations with strangers improve our mood,\u201d she explains. \u201cThey naturally slow you down, so you start paying more attention to the people around you and your surroundings. They also help you learn new things \u2013 I\u2019ve met someone who rescues bats at Durham Cathedral, and a publican who taught me that asparagus squeaks.\u201d<\/p>\n Sandstrom points to a 2012 study, Giving Time Gives You Time, which shows that when you spend time on other people, you end up feeling as though you have more time yourself. \u201cWhen we\u2019re busy, we feel like we can\u2019t spare time for other people, but if we never take that time, we\u2019ll never stop feeling busy,\u201d she adds. \u201cIt\u2019s counterintuitive but it works.\u201d<\/p>\n One literal way to slow down is to start walking at someone else\u2019s pace. \u201cIf you\u2019re with a child, an older adult, or even your dog, let them set the pace instead of pulling them along,\u201d says Sarah Hodges, therapy network manager at the mental health and meditation app Headspace. \u201cWhen we stop rushing to keep our own schedules, we often notice things we would have missed, like the small moments, conversations and connections that make life meaningful. Research on mindfulness and attention shows that when we slow down and intentionally notice what is happening around us, we can reduce stress.\u201d<\/p>\n Prof Mark Williams, founding director of the Oxford Mindfulness Foundation, also suggests walking with an upright posture. \u201cMost of us walk leaning into the future, mentally rushing towards whatever comes next,\u201d he says. \u201cResearch shows that simply standing or walking a little more upright can positively influence how you feel.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span> Illustration: Lisa Sheehan\/The Guardian<\/p>\n If you are a parent who is preoccupied with ensuring your child is always busy, you might be doing them a disservice. \u201cBeing bored is part of the human experience,\u201d says Stephanie O\u2019Dea, author of Slow Living: Cultivating a Life of Purpose in a Hustle-Driven World. \u201c<\/em>This is how creativity, imagination and independence begin. A child saying they are bored isn\u2019t an indictment of your parenting.\u201d<\/p>\n Allow them the space for imaginative play. \u201cA child is more likely to play independently if you spend time with them beforehand,\u201d says Dr Maral Amani, a paediatric physical therapist and child development expert. \u201cA helpful response the next time your child says, \u2018I\u2019m bored,\u2019 is to resist immediately solving the problem. Instead, try offering confidence. You might say: \u2018Hmm, I wonder what you\u2019ll come up with.\u2019 This communicates that you believe they are capable of finding something to do on their own.\u201d<\/p>\n Another suggestion is to invite your child to help you with whatever you\u2019re doing. \u201cIf you\u2019re folding laundry, cooking dinner or putting dishes away, you could say: \u2018Do you want to keep me company and tell me a story while I do this?\u2019\u201d says Amani. \u201cSometimes children aren\u2019t looking for entertainment, they\u2019re looking for connection. Inviting them into your everyday activities shows them that ordinary moments can be meaningful.\u201d<\/p>\n Many of us feel we always need to be productive, even during our downtime. Yet there is much joy to be had in actual leisure time, whether that is doodling, kicking a ball around the garden with your child or listening to music. \u201cDo something with no goal beyond enjoyment,\u201d advises Hodges. \u201cResearch on rest and recovery highlights the importance of activities that allow us to step away from constant achievement and performance. Doing something simply because we enjoy it helps restore our energy and reminds us that our value is not only tied to what we accomplish.\u201d<\/p>\n skip past newsletter promotion<\/p>\n Sign up to Inside Saturday<\/span><\/p>\n The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend.<\/p>\n after newsletter promotion<\/p>\n Rosie Nixon, the author of The Pro Method: Pause, Reflect, Organise \u2013 Three Simple Steps to Reinvent Your Life, a new book about how to overcome burnout, also recommends doing a \u201cjoy audit\u201d of what you actually like doing, and sticking to those activities. \u201cTake a minute to pause and reflect on what genuinely fills your cup, and enables you to cope with the more demanding aspects of your life,\u201d she says. \u201cThen deprioritise anything that isn\u2019t serving you any more \u2013 whether that\u2019s friendships, or social media accounts you are following.\u201d And if there\u2019s a TV series or book you\u2019re just not getting into, don\u2019t feel you have to complete it.<\/p>\n Our always-on work culture means many of us feel as though we can\u2019t take a break during the working day. But as Chung has discovered through her research, having sufficient time away from work makes you a better worker the next day. \u201cFor athletes, resting their body isn\u2019t optional; it\u2019s how they are able to perform so well,\u201d she says. \u201cThe brain works in much the same way. If your job involves creative thinking, problem-solving or knowledge work, rest isn\u2019t wasted time. It\u2019s what enables you to perform at your best.\u201d For this reason, she argues that working long hours into the night will affect the quality of your work not only at the time, but the next day too.<\/p>\n double quotation markMicro-breaks \u2013 where you stare out the window, doodle or lean your head back and shut your eyes \u2013 are great for mood, productivity and concentration<\/p>\n Yet finding time to pause during the day can feel impossible. \u201cFinishing one task simply acts as the trigger to begin the next,\u201d says Williams. \u201cSo one particularly useful moment to pause is immediately after completing something.\u201d He recommends taking a \u201cmindfulness minute\u201d , whether that be 10 slow breaths, or walking to refill your water bottle.<\/p>\n Claudia Hammond, author of Overwhelmed: Ways to Take the Pressure Off, suggests scheduling your meetings for five past the hour, so that you always have five minutes to catch a breath between hour-long calls. \u201cA recent study found that micro-breaks of just two minutes each hour \u2013 where you stare out the window, or doodle, or lean your head back in your chair and shut your eyes \u2013 are great for mood and therefore productivity and concentration,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Many believe that in order to have a meaningful experience with our friends, we must be dining at a restaurant, going to an exhibition or attending a party, but some of the most meaningful interactions happen when we\u2019re doing very little at all. \u201cOrganising seeing friends can start to feel like a job in itself,\u201d says Hammond. \u201cEspecially if there are conflicting priorities, or somewhere requires a deposit, or is fully booked. So it\u2019s a question of remembering that you don\u2019t need to do something massive: it can be as simple as going for a walk.\u201d<\/p>\n The same can be said of hosting. Remove the pressure to cook a gourmet meal and design a tablescape. Instead, focus on the joy of sharing a meal together \u2013 whether that\u2019s something homemade or a takeaway.<\/p>\n \u201cSeptember is about fortifying yourself for the winter, and delving into the pleasures of home and slowness after the freneticism of summer,\u201d says cook and food writer Jago Rackham. \u201cEat slow-roasted meats and poached fruit, do as little as possible to the excellent seasonal ingredients, and plan long lunches and early dinners to catch the last of the light.\u201d<\/p>\n If you think you don\u2019t have time for mindfulness, try to incorporate it into what you are already doing. \u201cYou can build these small moments of awareness into everyday life without adding anything else to your schedule,\u201d says Williams. \u201cIf you\u2019re eating lunch, really pay attention to the experience of eating. When you\u2019re walking, ask yourself: \u2018What else is here, apart from all the thoughts in my head?\u2019 You might notice an interesting roofline, a bird perched on a fence, or the way the light falls on a building. Appreciation is incredibly valuable. It brings a little more positivity into the day, and we know that being in a positive mood increases creativity too.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It is a hangover from our school days that September can feel like a time for getting back to the grind. As in January, there is a sense that we should return as better workers, partners, friends and parents. This sense is even stronger now a culture of optimisation \u2013 has taken over \u2013 evidenced<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":52114,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[11114,3770,143,3656,37,146,337,3163,7469,12086,6200],"class_list":{"0":"post-52113","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-bored","9":"tag-chat","10":"tag-embrace","11":"tag-enjoy","12":"tag-health","13":"tag-kids","14":"tag-life","15":"tag-september","16":"tag-slow","17":"tag-strangers","18":"tag-wellbeing"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=52113"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52113\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/52114"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=52113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=52113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=52113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Make time for micro-connections<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Walk at someone else\u2019s pace<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Let your children be bored<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Do a \u2018no outcome\u2019 activity<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Schedule pauses at work<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Simplify your social life<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Habit-stack your mindfulness<\/strong><\/h2>\n