\n<\/p>\n
I<\/span>n the age of Ozempic and people being open about plastic surgery, discussion about people\u2019s bodies is rife. At the same time, nobody seems quite sure how to talk about them, as shown by recent coverage of celebrities like Ariana Grande.<\/p>\n It is a fraught topic. We asked eating disorder experts for guidelines to follow when talking about other people\u2019s bodies, and how to do so without doing harm.<\/p>\n For experts in the field of eating disorders, the current ambivalence makes sense. \u201cThere\u2019s a whiplash moment we\u2019re stuck in,\u201d says Dr Tom Hildebrandt, director of the Center for Eating and Weight Disorders at Mount Sinai hospital in New York.<\/p>\n The body positivity movement of the 2010s saw a mainstream push to \u201caccept all body sizes, shapes and types\u201d, says Hildebrandt. Then, with the explosion of GLP-1s, progress toward body acceptance \u201ctook a hard right turn\u201d, he says \u2013 once again, \u201cthe media went through its idealization of weight loss\u201d.<\/p>\n The vocabulary is different than it was before. Now, the focus is on \u201coptimizing\u201d one\u2019s body and appearance, says Dr Ulrike Schmidt, professor of eating disorders at King\u2019s College London.<\/p>\n The deluge of social media posts has only exacerbated the confusion and made it feel impossible to escape body discourse.<\/p>\n \u201cThe internet, specifically social media, has made commentary on the appearance of others more visible and widespread,\u201d says Jessica Scheer, CEO of the National Eating Disorders Association (Neda). \u201cMost of the commentary is speculative, and almost all of it is harmful.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEverything is about context,\u201d says Hildebrandt. \u201cIt means something different in your physician\u2019s office than it does on a social media account for the whole world to see.\u201d<\/p>\n When considering how or whether to discuss bodies with other people, keep in mind that many people are unhappy with their bodies and appearance, says Schmidt. She points to a 2023 report by the Butterfly Foundation, Australia\u2019s national charity for eating disorders and body image issues, which found that 57% of young people were dissatisfied with how they look, and 49% said this had sometimes stopped them from attending school.<\/p>\n \u201cEven the seemingly most innocent and well-meaning comments about people\u2019s body weight, shape or appearance have the potential for backfiring, sensitizing or hurting people,\u201d she says. In her work as an eating disorder clinician, Schmidt says many of the people she sees recall comments about their bodies as the starting point of their eating disorder journey. Some of these comments were criticisms or warnings about changing bodies, while others were intended as compliments.<\/p>\n \u201cIn clinic, we often hear that these kinds of congratulatory comments \u2026 made them think they are only acceptable, attractive and desirable if they are a certain weight or physique,\u201d Schmidt says.<\/p>\n Body talk is ubiquitous, and it can be difficult not to engage. We asked experts how one might respond in various contexts.<\/p>\n If an acquaintance or colleague brings up another person or celebrity\u2019s body: <\/strong>When someone you aren\u2019t very close to engages in body talk, you may not want to get involved. Often, discussing people\u2019s bodies can be like talking about the weather, Hildebrandt says \u2013 a topic one turns to when there is nothing else to talk about. \u201cBut it\u2019s a very low-level social connection; it doesn\u2019t have much meaning to it.\u201d<\/p>\n In most cases, he says, people\u2019s remarks about others\u2019 bodies are not badly meant. They are more like a reflex, something we have been conditioned to believe is acceptable small talk. \u201cI tell people to be bored by it,\u201d says Hildebrandt. As soon as you signal that you\u2019re not interested \u2013 by not engaging and changing the topic, for example \u2013 people will move on quickly,\u201d Hildebrandt says.<\/p>\n (Experts have noted that this is also a useful strategy if you feel activated by other people\u2019s discussion of body shapes and sizes.)<\/p>\n If a child criticizes their body or someone else\u2019s: <\/strong>\u201cIf a young child says something negative about their body, it might be helpful to ask: \u2018What makes you say that?\u2019\u201d says Schmidt.<\/p>\n They might have made the comment because they are being bullied or teased by other children, or because they are mirroring the comments of an adult. \u201cDepending on the origins of the comment, the response may need to be quite different,\u201d Schmidt says.<\/p>\n Hildebrandt tells his own children that public discussion of people\u2019s bodies is \u201cjust trying to get your attention\u201d and often features \u201clazy\u201d messaging.<\/p>\n skip past newsletter promotion<\/p>\n Sign up to Well Actually<\/span><\/p>\n Practical advice, expert insights and answers to your questions about how to live a good life<\/p>\n after newsletter promotion<\/p>\n \u201cIf someone\u2019s going to try to sell me something based on somebody\u2019s body type, they\u2019re being lazy,\u201d he says. \u201cThey\u2019re just assigning a body value to get your attention.\u201d<\/p>\n The antidote, he says \u2013 in these conversations and in general \u2013 is to actively pursue other interests. It\u2019s tough to simply \u201cbe less interested\u201d in this prevalent topic, he says; \u201cyou have to be more interested in something else.\u201d<\/p>\n If an older relative criticizes or praises someone\u2019s body: <\/strong>We may technically speak the same language as older relatives, but we may not always mean the same thing, Hildebrandt notes. For example, when you say \u201cphone\u201d, you mean a smartphone; \u201cfor your grandparents, it\u2019s something that hangs on the wall.\u201d<\/p>\n This same language mismatch can happen in discussions about bodies. A grandparent\u2019s remark about another person\u2019s weight loss may be a comment about their overall success or an expression of concern about their wellbeing. Hildebrandt argues that it is more helpful to engage with their intended meaning as opposed to being overly literal and \u201cending up in a situation where there\u2019s friction\u201d.<\/p>\n If people are discussing someone\u2019s body on social media: <\/strong>Experts say it\u2019s best not to comment in these public forums.<\/p>\n \u201cI see a lot of talk online about the harms of staying silent,\u201d says Scheer. \u201cHowever, making speculative comments about a person\u2019s weight or physical appearance is not the antidote to silence.\u201d<\/p>\n In instances where a publicly speculated eating disorder may be the case, she says, \u201ccritical online discourse may be the digital reinforcement that fuels their continued behavior\u201d.<\/p>\n Is there ever a time when posting about someone else\u2019s body on social media is valuable? \u201cI haven\u2019t heard of one yet,\u201d says Hildebrandt.<\/p>\n If you are struggling with seeing body discussions on social media, Neda recommends, among other things, limiting screen time and thinking critically about the media we are exposed to, including asking questions like: \u201cWho created and profits from the message?\u201d<\/p>\n If you are worried about a friend or close relative: <\/strong>Speculating about a stranger\u2019s health and worrying about a friend are two very different things. If you have concerns about a friend\u2019s body image or eating behavior, experts recommend being direct and compassionate.<\/p>\n \u201cBe inquisitive, honest and open,\u201d says Hildebrandt. \u201cDon\u2019t jump to a solution. Most people don\u2019t want solutions \u2013 certainly not right off the bat. They want to be heard and understood, so being open and curious will get you the furthest.\u201d<\/p>\n Scheer also suggests focusing the conversation not on a person\u2019s appearance, \u201cbut the other aspects that generally accompany an eating disorder, like social isolation and brain fog\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cNone of us have the ability to control other people,\u201d says Hildebrandt. \u201cThe other person is going to dictate whether the conversation goes further or not. If you\u2019ve demonstrated that you can listen, hear and understand, then chances are you\u2019re going to have more conversations.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In the age of Ozempic and people being open about plastic surgery, discussion about people\u2019s bodies is rife. At the same time, nobody seems quite sure how to talk about them, as shown by recent coverage of celebrities like Ariana Grande. It is a fraught topic. We asked eating disorder experts for guidelines to follow<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":51946,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[2822,2249,3215,4245,9299,1299,213],"class_list":{"0":"post-51945","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-age","9":"tag-bodies","10":"tag-changing","11":"tag-meant","12":"tag-ozempic","13":"tag-peoples","14":"tag-talk"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51945","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51945"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51945\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/51946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51945"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51945"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51945"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Why does it feel particularly hard to talk about bodies right now?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Is it harmful to talk about someone\u2019s body?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
How does one engage in body talk in a way that is not harmful?<\/strong><\/h2>\n