\n<\/p>\n
Reading the comments below Annalisa Barbieri\u2019s latest advice column online (I wish my son wanted to spend more time with me, 28 June), I was struck by how many people equated successful parenting with raising independent\u00a0adult children.<\/p>\n
But life isn\u2019t always that straightforward. There is a largely invisible generation of midlife parents still caring for adult children who remain Neets \u2013 not\u00a0in employment, education or training. Many are living with neurodivergence, severe mental illness, post-Covid syndrome or chronic ill health.<\/p>\n
Many are bright young people who, for one reason or another, just\u00a0can\u2019t seem to get started in\u00a0adult life. I know because I\u2019m one of those\u00a0parents. I won\u2019t share my family\u2019s story\u00a0because I need to protect my\u00a0children\u2019s privacy. If I\u2019m honest,\u00a0it\u2019s also because I\u00a0carry a\u00a0huge amount of shame. Reading comments that imply successful parents produce independent adults leaves many of\u00a0us feeling that we\u2019ve failed at the\u00a0most important job of our lives. The grief\u00a0is immense.<\/p>\n
We are the parents who become experts at changing the subject, as our stomachs drop, when someone innocently asks: \u201cWhat are your kids up to these days?\u201d<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve watched children who were once thriving gradually withdraw from education, relationships and the outside world. Every article about Neets quite rightly asks how we can better\u00a0support these young people.\u00a0But almost none ask what this means for the parents holding\u00a0everything together behind closed doors: life quietly and profoundly shrinking around\u00a0caring.<\/p>\n
Perhaps it\u2019s time to widen the conversation. Alongside asking how we support young adults who\u00a0are struggling, we should also be asking how we support the\u00a0families who continue to care for them. If supporting parents gives children the best start in life,\u00a0why do we stop supporting parents when the caring becomes harder, not easier? Have an opinion on anything you\u2019ve read in the Guardian today? Please <\/em><\/strong>email<\/em><\/strong> <\/em><\/strong>us your letter and it will be considered for publication in our <\/em><\/strong>letters<\/em><\/strong> section.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Reading the comments below Annalisa Barbieri\u2019s latest advice column online (I wish my son wanted to spend more time with me, 28 June), I was struck by how many people equated successful parenting with raising independent\u00a0adult children. But life isn\u2019t always that straightforward. There is a largely invisible generation of midlife parents still caring for<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":50890,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[2568,12023,166,496,2318,630,514],"class_list":{"0":"post-50889","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-adult","9":"tag-caring","10":"tag-children","11":"tag-education","12":"tag-parenting","13":"tag-parents","14":"tag-work"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50889\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/50890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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