\n<\/p>\n
W<\/span>e are living in an age of anxiety. A 2023 survey by the Mental Health Foundation found that one in five people in the UK experience anxiety all or most of the time. In 2024, 500 children a day were being referred for NHS anxiety treatment in England.<\/p>\n It is one of the epidemics of our time, says Owen O\u2019Kane, a psychotherapist and the author of Addicted to Anxiety: How to Break the Habit. \u201cWhen we look at what is happening in the world at the moment, the one thing we have an abundance of is uncertainty. If you look at a textbook definition of anxiety, it is an intolerance of uncertainty.\u201d<\/p>\n Anxiety is part of our fight, flight, freeze response, explains O\u2019Kane, which is a helpful mechanism to keep us safe, as he found growing up in Northern Ireland during the Troubles. But some people have a dysfunctional relationship with anxiety, which, O\u2019Kane says, means they are \u201cin a heightened state of alarm and vigilance all of the time\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cWe need anxiety. It just sometimes misreads the room,\u201d says counselling psychologist and broadcaster Dr Sian Williams, the author of The Power of Anxiety: How to Ride the Worry Wave. \u201cWhen we don\u2019t feel like we have control, anxiety presents us with the worst-case scenario so we can feel prepared. Sometimes that is useful, but sometimes it fills in gaps where there is no knowledge, and that is when it can become unhelpful.\u201d The problem, says Williams, is that fighting or avoiding anxiety \u201cnot only doesn\u2019t make it go away, but makes it worse. So if that is not going to work, how do we live with it? How do we use our anxiety in a way that can benefit us?\u201d<\/p>\n Whatever stage of life you are at, it is never too late to address anxiety \u2013 or help others with theirs \u2013 so anxious thoughts no longer control how you live.<\/p>\n <\/span> Illustration: Carl Godfrey\/The Guardian<\/p>\n If you have a child who is showing signs of anxiety, don\u2019t panic, says Dr Meredith Elkins, a clinical psychologist specialising in the treatment of anxiety in children at Harvard Medical School\u2019s McLean hospital, and the author of Parenting Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle of Worry & Raising Resilient Kids. \u201cFamilies need to understand that anxiety in a child isn\u2019t a character flaw. It is normal for kids to experience periods of anxiety, particularly around times of transition. There are developmentally appropriate ages and stages when anxiety increases. We want to make sure that we\u2019re not communicating that their experience in these moments is a cause for concern \u2013 that can further fuel the anxiety.\u201d<\/p>\n Instead, validate and normalise anxious feelings, says Elkins, through supportive statements. She gives the example of telling a child it is understandable to be terrified on the first day of school, that most kids feel that way and they will get through it. Elkins says it\u2019s important to \u201cresist the urge to shut down life because of anxiety\u201d. It would be easy to avoid situations that trigger anxious feelings, but that will only exacerbate them and \u201cremoves the chance for exposure, the chance to learn\u201d.<\/p>\n double quotation markWhatever we\u2019re expecting in our kids, it is important for us to model it. If we can do hard things and handle our distress, we model that for them<\/p>\n At what point does anxiety stop being a healthy part of childhood? Elkins says to look out for three things: interference \u2013 if it is affecting what a child or a family can do; distress \u2013 if the level of upset seems disproportionate, given the child\u2019s age; duration \u2013 \u201csomething ongoing for several weeks or months warrants a clinical diagnosis\u201d, she says.<\/p>\n There is a strong link between neurodiversity and anxiety, and treatment can be adjusted accordingly: \u201cIf a kid struggles with agoraphobia and feels overwhelmed in crowded places, our aim is usually to get them into crowded places. But with a kid who is neurodivergent and may have sensory processing concerns, getting them to engage with their peers and go to a football match or concert <\/strong>may be more accessible with noise-cancelling headphones.\u201d<\/p>\n It is arguably not a great time to be a young person. \u201cNormalisation of the spectrum of human emotions is key,\u201d says Elkins. \u201cSo many teens see anxiety as their identity. We know that it is not necessarily a lifetime diagnosis or disability, but a punctuated time when things are hard, and it is treatable.\u201d<\/p>\n Talking about your own fears can help them to see emotions as \u201cnormal, natural and sometimes inexplicable\u201d, Elkins says. \u201cWhatever we\u2019re expecting in our kids, it is really important for us to model it ourselves.\u201d <\/strong>This could be, she suggests, addressing an issue with a family member you have been avoiding, travelling by yourself if you struggle with that, or dealing with something difficult at work. \u201cIf we can do hard things and handle our own distress, we model that for our kids.\u201d<\/p>\n If your child will talk to you about their feelings, encourage them to explore what is worrying them. \u201cTeenagers are old enough to self-reflect. <\/strong>Ask them: \u2018What is the core fear here? Is it that I\u2019m going to go to a party and everyone\u2019s going to completely reject me? Is it that I\u2019m going to fail an exam?\u2019\u201d If you dig into it a bit, there can often be ways to make a situation feel less troubling. When your teen doesn\u2019t want to engage, \u201csometimes parents need to set a limit on how much anxiety can be \u2018driving the bus\u2019\u201d, says Elkins. \u201cIf the child is nervous about a family gathering, can they come for part of the event, take breaks, or stay in the kitchen?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span> Illustration: Carl Godfrey\/The Guardian<\/p>\n A huge concern for parents is that social media plays into anxieties, says Elkins. \u201cUnless parents feel they have a really solid handle on what their kid is seeing and how they are interacting online, social media opens a Pandora\u2019s box of problems.\u201d Elkins is often asked how to cope with this. \u201cIf you feel your kid cannot safely be on social media, or it is increasing their distress, then you need to have a hard conversation. You could say, \u2018We are not comfortable with this for you right now,\u2019 or that you are going to observe what they\u2019re doing on social media and gradually give them more responsibility over time.\u201d<\/p>\n At every age, the decision to medicate anxiety can be divisive. \u201cFor some people, medication can be a helpful support mechanism to get them to a point where they feel they are able to cope,\u201d says O\u2019Kane, but he stresses the importance of therapy alongside medication to work on the root causes of the anxiety.<\/p>\n Dr Lauren Cook is a California-based clinical psychologist and the author of Generation Anxiety, which she identifies as millennials, gen Z and gen Alpha, all of whom have grown up with a constant stream of worrying news on their feeds. \u201cOur brains are not wired to get that much negative information,\u201d she says. Many are struggling in the current economic climate: \u201cYou see how difficult it is for young adults to find affordable housing \u2013 they often have to move away from their families to find it.\u201d<\/p>\n When you leave home, you have more autonomy, which can initially lead to lifestyle choices that may increase anxiety, such as eating unhealthily, drinking too much alcohol or having too many late nights. \u201cThere is emerging research on how sugar and alcohol affect our brain health, and the impact this has on anxiety as it increases inflammation in the body,\u201d says Cook. As well as opting for a diet that makes you feel good, she advises: \u201cMove your body for 20 minutes a day; get out for a walk \u2013 it doesn\u2019t have to be vigorous exercise \u2013 and get some sunshine on your skin.\u201d This <\/strong>can help combat anxious thoughts. Yoga, meditation or mindfulness are worth exploring too.<\/p>\n Another big factor at this age is connection, which younger people can struggle with. \u201cEspecially gen Z \u2013 they are tagged the loneliest generation,\u201d says Cook. \u201cOne of the best things you can do is initiate \u2013 ask somebody to brunch or out for coffee, and just talk to them. Put the phone away. <\/strong>We know even having a phone on the table spikes cortisol, so make sure your phone is out of sight when you\u2019re sitting talking to people.\u201d<\/p>\n Finances and the climate crisis raise anxiety around having children. \u201cI had a couple I was working with where the whole question was: do we have children or not?\u201d says Cook. \u201cA lot of people are saying: \u2018I don\u2019t know if I want to raise a child \u2013 people who are parents seem unhappier.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n For those who decide to have children, \u201cworry is part of loving a child\u201d, says Elkins, who also runs a clinic helping parents with their own anxiety issues. \u201cIt only becomes disordered when worry is persistent, intrusive and overwhelming.\u201d There is strong evidence to support CBT and mindfulness-based approaches for reducing anxiety in the perinatal period, Elkins says. She also emphasises the importance of protecting sleep, as tiredness can amplify anxiety, and suggests leaning on support: \u201cParenting was never meant to be done alone.\u201d<\/p>\n Being in the sandwich generation \u2013 simultaneously caring for children and older parents \u2013 can be a deeply stressful time, says Aimee Spector, a professor of the clinical psychology of ageing at University College London. \u201cA woman aged 51, the average age of menopause, is very likely to have teenage kids living at home who they are still looking after, and parents they are caring for too.<\/p>\n \u201cPerimenopause is a period of mental health vulnerability,\u201d says Spector. \u201cThe anxiety about having a hot flush often makes your heart rate higher and makes you hotter.\u201d There is robust evidence that suggests HRT alleviates hot flushes and night sweats, and as a result anxiety too, although guidelines suggest it should not be prescribed for menopause-related mental health conditions alone.<\/p>\n Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help if HRT is not an option (or isn\u2019t sufficient) to help manage menopausal symptoms. \u201cIf you are feeling less anxious, then if hot flushes do happen you might have less of a negative experience,\u201d says Spector. \u201cThe reduction in worry potentially reduces the number of hot flushes.\u201d<\/p>\n double quotation markFriendship is vital, but in your 40s it is thwarted by work, child duties, parent duties, exhaustion. Prioritising friendship is an important part of wellbeing<\/p>\n Brain fog can make women worry they are showing signs of dementia, says Spector. For this, she recommends \u201clooking after yourself, having good sleep, taking pressure off yourself in terms of deadlines, and reducing clutter in your work and life so you are not doing too many things at once\u201d.<\/p>\n Middle age can be an equally anxious time for men. \u201cThere are those who argue that there is a \u2018manopause\u2019, that as testosterone drops so does their sense of autonomy. There is confusion about their roles as a man,\u201d says psychotherapist and author Julia Samuel. \u201cOn the whole, men are not as good at talking about their feelings with each other, but they are with women.\u201d Having as wide a \u201cvillage\u201d as possible is important for everyone, because sharing a problem, even if it\u2019s not with a therapist, can be invaluable. \u201cBy the time you get to your mid-40s, friendship gets thwarted by work, child duties, parent duties, exhaustion. Prioritising friendship is an important part of wellbeing,\u201d says Samuel.<\/p>\n Williams recommends accessing early-morning light, getting out in green spaces and pet ownership, referring to a study that found walking with a dog is better for relieving anxiety than walking alone. \u201cRest is crucial,\u201d adds Williams, as is being aware of gut health, which is intrinsically linked to stress via the vagus nerve. Fermented foods could be worth trying, as well as breathwork.<\/p>\n Cold water therapy has benefits too, says Samuel: \u201cThere is evidence that it stops you spiralling because it gives you a break from yourself. Your whole system shifts. Even having a cold shower, or putting on the cold for a minute at the end of a warm shower, can change your mood.\u201d<\/p>\n Health anxiety is increasingly common as we get older. Some memory loss is a natural part of ageing, but there can be a lot of worry around losing cognitive function. \u201cThere can often be a fear of going out and not remembering what you are doing,\u201d says Spector. \u201cA fear of falling is a big one too, because a lot of older people die from falls. So often old people fall and then get too anxious to go out. Because they\u2019re not going out, they\u2019re not moving, they\u2019re not getting physical exercise, they\u2019re not socialising.\u201d<\/p>\n Psychological therapies, such as CBT, are helpful, but the barrier can be getting older people to talk about their worries. \u201cThere is still a lot of taboo around mental health and talking about feelings with some older generations,\u201d says Spector. \u201cIt is getting better, but it varies hugely in terms of ethnicity: in some cultures, it wouldn\u2019t necessarily be appropriate to go and talk to people about your feelings.\u201d But it can be integral to breaking the cycle of worry: \u201cAccessing psychological therapies is really important, because anxiety can be fairly straightforward to treat this way. People shouldn\u2019t be embarrassed about it. It is very normal for us to feel more anxious as we get older and frailer. There isn\u2019t a good evidence base for treating anxiety in older people with medication.\u201d<\/p>\n How else can you support someone in this situation? \u201cConsider the strengths the person had when they were younger,\u201d says Spector. \u201cHow can they be harnessed to try to overcome a fear of going out? If there is something that they are really interested in \u2013 say knitting \u2013 we could try to get them interested in going along to a group again.\u201d<\/p>\n This time of life can feature more grief than at other points. \u201cGrief feels like fear,\u201d says Samuel. \u201cEverything feels dangerous. You have a longing for the past and find it difficult to look into the future. Grief will always put you in touch with the previous losses in your life and bring up your own mortality.\u201d There is evidence that journalling may help, says Samuel, and \u201cmusic is medicine: dancing in the kitchen, going to a Zumba class, being in a choir\u201d.<\/p>\n Anxiety can make you feel unsafe in your mind, body and home, says Samuel. Finding a pastime that acts as a circuit breaker can \u201cenable you to connect with yourself \u2013 and feel safe\u201d.<\/p>\n In the UK, the charity Mind is available on 0300 123 3393 and Childline is on 0800 1111<\/em>. In the US, call or text <\/em>Mental Health America<\/em> at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. In Australia, support is available at <\/em>Beyond Blue<\/em> on 1300 22 4636, <\/em>Lifeline<\/em> on 13 11 14, and at <\/em>MensLine<\/em> on 1300 789 978<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We are living in an age of anxiety. A 2023 survey by the Mental Health Foundation found that one in five people in the UK experience anxiety all or most of the time. In 2024, 500 children a day were being referred for NHS anxiety treatment in England. It is one of the epidemics of<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46802,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[2822,6134,6768,3540,337,15684,891],"class_list":{"0":"post-46801","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-age","9":"tag-anxiety","10":"tag-childhood","11":"tag-handle","12":"tag-life","13":"tag-midlife","14":"tag-style"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46801"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46801\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/46802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Childhood<\/h2>\n
Adolescence<\/h2>\n
Early adulthood<\/h2>\n
Middle age<\/h2>\n
Older age<\/h2>\n