\n<\/p>\n
D<\/span>enise Welch doesn\u2019t seem the\u00a0kind of woman who would turn up with an entourage. But here she is\u00a0having her hair primped in a\u00a0makeshift changing room by two people. One tickling her fringe, the other tweaking her tufts. Blimey, I\u00a0say, have you got two assistants? She grins. \u201cNo. There are three.\u201d And now it turns out she\u2019s got a fourth. I offer to make her a cup of coffee. She warns me she\u2019s fussy. \u201cThree teaspoons of Coffee-Mate, please.\u201d<\/p>\n Welch is having a moment. She calls it, with a\u00a0fabulously camp flourish, her renaissance. The actor and Loose Women regular has hardly been invisible in recent years. But this is on another level. For most of the 2000s, she has been best known for dishing out blithe opinions about anything and everything, and being the mother of the 1975\u2019s frontman, Matty Healy. Now, though, it\u2019s the acting that\u2019s getting the attention. Earlier this month, she returned to the drama series Waterloo Road as the hopeless French teacher Steph Haydock after a\u00a015\u2011year absence. This time around, she\u2019s a supply teacher and is even more hopeless. Welch has also got parts in the new Russell T Davies drama series Tip Toe, the Josh\u00a0Pugh sitcom Stepping Up, both on Channel 4, and the adaptation of Graham Norton\u2019s novel Forever Home.<\/p>\n And there\u2019s more. At 67, Welch has become an unlikely fashion darling. Last month she featured in the ultra\u2011trendy counterculture magazine i-D, and in\u00a0November she became a party correspondent for GQ, working the red carpet at the Man of the Year awards in blacked-out wraparound sunnies and thigh-high Off\u2011White boots. Then there was the wedding of Charli\u00a0xcx and the 1975 drummer George Daniel in Sicily. Forget the A-listers in attendance; the young and beautiful celebs were queueing up to take selfies with Welch.<\/p>\n It\u2019s great to see her in such good form because it has not always been this way. Despite her lust for life, Welch has struggled for many years with depression and addiction. For much of that time, she was monstered by the press. But not any more.<\/p>\n I let wonderful stylists put these weird and wonderful things on me \u2026 and suddenly you\u2019re a\u00a0different person<\/span>Photograph: David Titlow\/The Guardian. Earrings: Pond London. Jacket and trousers: Holland Cooper. Shirt: The Shirt Company. Tie and tie clip: Paul Smith. Heels: Terry de Havilland. Sunglasses: Jacquemus from Linda Farrow<\/span><\/p>\n What\u2019s brought about the change? Well, she says, she sort of willed it. \u201cI\u2019m not a manifester, but I sort of did manifest it. I spoke to my agent and I said I want 2025 to be a bit of a renaissance for me. I\u2019d always been jealous of people.\u201d She pulls to a stop, caveating the next sentence before it\u2019s even left her mouth. \u201cYou will write this like I\u2019m saying it, won\u2019t you, because it can sound really naff? So, I\u2019d always been a bit jealous of people who had a team \u2013 you know when you see people turning up at a photoshoot and they have a team? I\u2019d never had a team. Anyway, I\u2019d lost a bit of weight and I was feeling mentally very good in myself, and everything depends on my mental health, so I thought I\u2019m going to get my own stylist and hairdresser, and I\u2019m going to get a\u00a0publicist and I\u2019m going to change direction.\u201d Has she got the money to pay for her team? \u201cNo<\/em>! But it\u2019s not like it\u2019s every day. It\u2019s not like I have the glam team to my house every morning.\u201d<\/p>\n So, with her entourage she\u2019s basically turning into Snoop Denise? \u201cI am! And I\u2019m loving this fashionista era that I\u2019ve been thrust into. When I got asked to do a\u00a0fashion shoot for i-D magazine, Matty said to me, \u2018That\u2019s great, Mum, even I\u2019ve never done i-D!\u2019 I love the fact that I know nothing about high fashion. So I let these wonderful stylists put these weird and wonderful things on me. You have a great photographer and suddenly you\u2019re a\u00a0different person.\u201d<\/p>\n As we\u2019re talking, her publicist reminds her she has not changed out of her vintage Chanel top, and the Guardian needs to return it. She apologises, rushes off, and returns in a lovely striped roll-neck. \u201cIt\u2019s from Florence & Fred at Tesco.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>Photograph: David Titlow\/The Guardian.<\/span><\/p>\n To many, Welch isn\u2019t just<\/em> an actor, Loose Woman and the mother of a rock star \u2013 she is also a prime hun, feted by the Instagram account @Loveofhuns, which celebrates Britain\u2019s glitziest and kitschiest pop-cultural icons.<\/p>\n I tell her I\u2019m not completely au fait with hun culture, and ask her to explain it. \u201cThe hun thing is hilarious to me. It\u2019s quite hard to describe. Carol Vorderman is a\u00a0hun. Alison Hammond is a hun. I\u2019m a hun.\u201d So what is it? \u201cGays and huns all mesh together. I\u2019ve always had that following. You\u2019ve got to remember as well that my dad was a heterosexual drag artist so he went out as Raquel. Raquel Welch. He loved the fact that I was an actress. He encouraged me. He knew I wouldn\u2019t be a\u00a0very good teacher, so it\u2019s been great that I\u2019ve been able to play a\u00a0rubbish teacher in Waterloo Road.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>Welch (centre) as teacher Steph Haydock in Waterloo Road, a role to which she has returned this year.<\/span> Photograph: BBC<\/p>\n Welch is hugely entertaining and can talk for England. But her conversation is hardly linear. Even her detours have detours. So a question about hun culture takes in her childhood in the north-east; her father, Vin, a sweet factory owner by day and drag queen by night; her plan to become a teacher because she only needed one A-level; the unconditional offer to go to Mountview theatre school in London; her early days in theatre, the delight Vin took in her chosen profession, and his liking nothing more than a night out with her gay friends because they knew how to have fun.<\/p>\n So what is hun culture, I ask again, some time later. \u201cAh, yes!\u201d She laughs. What qualities do you need? \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be loved by the gays. So, if you think of the people the gays love. It started with me when I played a\u00a0bitch in Coronation Street. The gays love a bitch. Joan\u00a0Collins\u2019 Alexis would have made her a hun.\u201d Huns are not known for their political correctness. They are often loved for their unfiltered take on life. Which is true of Welch \u2013 to an extent.<\/p>\n Allow Instagram content?<\/p>\n This article includes content provided by Instagram. We ask for your permission before anything is loaded, as they may be using cookies and other technologies. To view this content, click ‘Allow and continue’<\/strong>.<\/p>\n She was in Coronation Street from 1997 to 2000 as the marriage wrecker Natalie Barnes. That was her first serious brush with fame. \u201cYou\u2019ve got to remember when Natalie married Des Barnes it was watched by almost 20 million people. That\u2019s a third<\/em> of this country. When I go to watch Matty at the O2, there\u2019s maybe 20,000 people there. When you think of 20 million <\/em>\u2026 There was nowhere you went where you weren\u2019t known.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>As Natalie Barnes in Coronation Street, 1999.<\/span> Photograph: ITV<\/p>\n Did she enjoy the fame? \u201cFame in isolation is no fun. I would hate to be famous without a talent to back it up. But there are parts of fame I\u2019d hate to give up.\u201d Such\u00a0as? \u201cI like being in a lift and smiling at somebody, and them saying, \u201cEeeh, you know that\u2019s really made my day! Wait till I tell my daughter that I met you. Eeeh<\/em>!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s little wonder that Welch is ambivalent about fame. Few people have been so badly burnt by the press, though she didn\u2019t half help matters. \u201cI put myself in situations over the years that I\u2019m not proud of as a result of addiction. Fourteen years sober, I feel like a different person.\u201d For more than a decade she was addicted to alcohol and cocaine. The surprising thing, she says, is that it all happened so late in life. Throughout her 20s she didn\u2019t have the slightest trouble with drink or drugs. Sure, she liked a bev on a Friday night, maybe even a Saturday, too, but her thing was clubbing. She loved going out with gay friends and dancing the night away. Throughout this time, she says, she was the model professional.<\/p>\n But, at 31, and married to her second husband, the actor Tim Healy, she gave birth to Matty. Welch thought she would bond with him instantly. As for her friends, they thought she\u2019d be back out clubbing within weeks. But neither happened. She was struck by an extreme form of postnatal depression that has never left her. \u201cMany, many women will make a full recovery, and it will never darken their doors again. But I\u2019ve lived with that illness for 36 years.\u201d And you\u2019d never had depression before? \u201cNever. Not one day. I used to say, \u2018Ooh, I\u2019m really depressed\u2019 if I didn\u2019t get a job, but that\u2019s completely different to the illness.\u201d Postnatal depression affects so many women, she says, yet hardly any money is spent on research or support. \u201cIf men had postnatal depression, there\u2019d be a clinic on every corner. There are so many advances made, but it\u2019s being made on a budget of fourpence. They\u2019re now finding a huge connection between ADHD and postnatal depression.\u201d Welch was diagnosed with ADHD four years ago.<\/p>\n <\/span>Photograph: David Titlow\/The Guardian. Blouse: Pre-loved Chanel from Designer Exchange. Bonnet: Emma Brewin<\/span><\/p>\n She struggled with her depression for the best part of a decade before turning to drink and drugs. \u201cThat didn\u2019t happen till my late 30s. I was self-medicating.\u201d<\/p>\n In 2024, she had her first bad episode in five years, and had to withdraw from the Christmas production of Peter Pan at the Theatre Royal in Nottingham. Her depression tends to come with no warning and no external trigger. \u201cI can be talking to somebody, not even thinking about how I feel, and the atmosphere changes. I get a tingling in my palm and a metallic taste in my mouth, and within 30 seconds everything I\u2019d\u00a0been\u00a0looking forward to goes and there is zero joy. It\u2019s down on me, and I can do nothing about it until it lifts.\u201d<\/p>\n Is she always confident that it will lift? \u201cWhen you\u2019ve had it so many times, you have the security of knowing it will leave.\u201d But she knows that\u2019s not the case for everybody. \u201cPeople who take their life usually do not want to die; they just want to stop the pain.\u201d Has she ever thought she would take her own life? \u201cEvery depressive will tell you you have it in your back pocket as a solace: \u2018If I don\u2019t get better I can do that.\u2019 But I never seriously thought about that because I had enough experience of always getting better, and I knew outside these episodes I loved my fucking life.\u201d<\/p>\n Although she was convinced that drink and drugs helped her get through her depression, she eventually realised substance abuse was a double whammy. Welch became unreliable, volatile and confrontational. She gives me an example from her early days on Loose Women. \u201cWhen you\u2019re drinking you get defensive, so before the press would say anything, I would say, \u2018Anyway, what\u2019s wrong<\/em> with somebody in their 40s being out all night and partying and coming straight to work now and again? What\u2019s wrong with that<\/em>?\u2019\u201d You\u2019d say that on the show? \u201cYes<\/em>! <\/em>I had to own it.\u201d<\/p>\n Worst of all, she says, she became so boring. Was she oblivious to that at the time? \u201cOf course I was. You think you\u2019re the most interesting person on the planet. It never occurs to you how boring you are. I don\u2019t know how I\u2019ve still got any friends.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>Photograph: David Titlow\/The Guardian. Earrings: Giovanni Raspini. Jacket: Lurline. Tights: stylist\u2019s own. Heels: Charles & Keith<\/span><\/p>\n Welch became tabloid gold. Barely a week passed without a story of inappropriate behaviour splashed across the red-tops and the women\u2019s mags. \u201cBella and Best hated it when I got sober because they didn\u2019t have\u00a0any front pages any more!\u201d Welch didn\u2019t know where the stories were coming from. Private conversations were finding their way into the tabloids, and she became suspicious of those closest to her. \u201cI\u00a0was so paranoid. You don\u2019t trust anybody. It was, like, how do they know I was there?\u201d<\/p>\n Did she challenge family and friends? \u201cI didn\u2019t question anybody in my family, but I questioned friends.\u201d Did she fall out with any? \u201cErm, possibly not fall out,\u201d she says uncertainly. \u201cI thought that maybe they\u2019d inadvertently been among journalists and said some things. I\u2019d go, \u2018But you were the only person who knew that\u2019 and if they said, \u2018I would never say that\u2019, I\u00a0had to believe them. I was going mad.\u201d<\/p>\n Welch only discovered the truth a decade later when the police presented her with the evidence. It was shocking, and went way beyond conventional phone hacking. \u201cThey were putting bugs in my hotel rooms. I didn\u2019t have to prove my hacking because the guy who hacked me, Graham Johnson, the former investigations editor at the Sunday Mirror, came forward and became poacher turned gamekeeper. I\u2019ve met him and we\u2019ve made peace. He was the one who witnessed private investigators coming out of my hotel room having planted a listening device. He was just the messenger. The people who ordered the hacking have never even been to court, and that fucks me off hugely.\u201d<\/p>\n She says photographers have since apologised about the manner in which they pursued her. \u201cThe paps have said to me, \u2018We felt sorry for you in those days because we were told to go after you.\u2019\u201d Because they knew you were vulnerable? \u201cBecause everybody would believe everything they said. So, if I came out of a restaurant and closed my eyes in a shot and was sober, they\u2019d put, \u2018Denise fell out of the restaurant\u2019 and if I\u00a0said, \u2018No, I didn\u2019t, I was sober\u2019, nobody would believe me. I\u2019ve always said if I\u2019m in a nightclub and I\u2019m doing something I shouldn\u2019t and a\u00a0press person is there and they capture me, hands up, gov! That\u2019s my fault. But if they\u2019re getting that information by putting a bug in your hotel room \u2026 \u201d She trails off.<\/p>\n <\/span>Photograph: David Titlow\/The Guardian. Jumpsuit: Pre-loved Isabel Marant from Designer Exchange. Rings and earrings: both LO Collection<\/span><\/p>\n On the day the twin towers were attacked in New\u00a0York, Welch was filming. That evening she met up with friends in a bar. \u201cThey were worried that my depression was going to kick in, so they said come up to London and we\u2019ll look after you. We went to a bar and I\u00a0came out of a toilet cubicle and there was this beautiful Indian girl and she said, \u2018Oh God, you\u2019re Denise Welch, aren\u2019t you? I\u2019m a big fan of yours.\u2019 I said, \u2018Thank you so much. Isn\u2019t it a horrible time?\u2019\u201d The woman offered to buy Welch a\u00a0drink, and she accepted. \u201cShe said she was on her own, and I introduced her to my friends. She was this poor little rich girl who said her dad had a boat on the Thames and asked whether we\u2019d all like to go on it one day, and I\u2019m thinking, absolutely! Anyway, being me, at the end of the night I gave her my phone number and said, \u2018Please stay in touch.\u2019 Every day for pretty much three weeks this girl, Nyra, called me. Could I go to this or that? And I\u2019d be, like, \u2018Yes, I\u2019m just bathing Louis, then I\u2019m running Matty to school.\u2019 After three weeks I\u00a0went to do a photoshoot in Spain. And I\u00a0got the dreaded Saturday afternoon phone call saying we\u2019re running a\u00a0story about you tomorrow. I got my friend to go to King\u2019s Cross station, where you used to get the first papers at 10.30pm, and he said, \u2018It\u2019s not good.\u2019 I\u00a0was devastated<\/em>. It turned out this person had been a journalist sent to entrap me into a friendship for three weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n What was the story? She\u2019d prefer not to say. \u201cIt just was not good. It\u2019s stuff that you\u2019d say to a person you thought was a friend.\u201d She\u2019s becoming tearful. \u201cI get upset thinking about it. It\u2019s horrible.\u201d It\u2019s so much worse when your instinct is to trust people, I say. \u201cYes, and I\u2019m a people pleaser.\u201d It\u2019s true. For all her willingness to mouth off, Welch likes to be liked.<\/p>\n Matty and I have a great understanding of each other\u2019s psyche. We have a very close relationship<\/p>\n Did she ever see the woman again? \u201cNo, I didn\u2019t. I\u00a0picked up the phone at 3am, when a bolt of lightning made me realise who it was. She said, \u2018Hello\u2019 and I just said, \u2018Well, you\u2019ve got your blood money. I hope your parents are very, very proud of you.\u2019 And that was it. For years, I\u2019d thought it was coincidental that she turned up \u2026 I didn\u2019t realise I\u2019d been entrapped.\u201d<\/p>\n In the end, Welch received compensation from a\u00a0number of news organisations after the police presented her with the evidence. \u201cYou sit at Putney police station and there\u2019s a spreadsheet of years of your life, phone calls you made, places they\u2019d rented across from you to spy on you for two weeks. And you\u2019re thinking, oh my God<\/em>!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n It was after Welch met Lincoln Townley, who became her third husband, that she finally got sober. Townley, then a PR and marketing manager at Stringfellows, was also struggling with addiction. The tabloids labelled him her alcoholic toyboy (he is 14 years younger than Welch) and suggested their relationship had no chance of lasting. Both are now into their 15th year of sobriety. \u201cMy\u00a0marriage to Lincoln is the bedrock of my life,\u201d Welch says. Townley is now a successful artist whose work is collected by the likes of Michael Caine and Al\u00a0Pacino. It has not just been an incredible renaissance for Welch; it has been for Townley, too.<\/p>\n Has marriage been important in her life? \u201cYes<\/em>! I\u2019ve\u00a0had three<\/em> of them!\u201d When I mention her first, to the actor David Easter (who played Pat in Brookside), she\u00a0steers me away from it. \u201cThat was not very long-lived. But my marriage to Tim was one of 24 years, and we have two wonderful children and we\u2019re still friends. I never consider my marriage to Tim a failure. Lincoln and I are very good friends with him and Jo, his wife. She\u2019s a great stepmum to the kids.\u201d Louis, Welch\u2019s younger son from her marriage to Healy, is also an actor.<\/p>\n <\/span>Denise Welch with her sons, Louis (left) and Matty.<\/span> Photograph: Courtesy of Denise Welch<\/p>\n Like his mother, Matty Healy has spent much of his life in the public eye \u2013 partly because of his own success and partly because of who he has dated, including FKA twigs and Taylor Swift. He has also experienced substance abuse (in 2018, he admitted he had been addicted to heroin) and has a knack for courting controversy.<\/p>\n When I mention this she stiffens. \u201cI don\u2019t like to talk about Matty\u2019s personal life because it comes back and bites me on the arse every time with the press.\u201d Do she and Matty share their experiences? \u201cMatty understands what I\u2019ve been through, for sure. I\u2019m very proud of my kids and they love me very much, but I\u2019m very respectful of their lives and it\u2019s up to them to talk about it.\u201d Has she advised him on his issues with addiction? \u201cObviously it\u2019s something that we have shared and it means we have a great understanding of each other\u2019s psyche. We have a very close relationship.\u201d And she zips up. \u201cThat\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\n For all that she prides herself on not caring what she says, Welch clearly does. And for good reason. She doesn\u2019t like hurting people unnecessarily, she wants to protect her family, and she couldn\u2019t have had a\u00a0more chastening experience of press intrusion. But however hard she tries to self-censor these days, she doesn\u2019t always succeed. Last July, on Andy Cohen\u2019s Bravo show Watch What Happens Live, he asked what her reaction was to The Tortured Poets Department, the album Taylor Swift wrote about Matty after they separated (one song was called The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived). Welch replied, <\/strong>\u201cObviously, on pain of death can I talk about that episode, but not being her mother-in-law is a role that I\u2019m glad I lost.\u201d She paused, before quickly adding, \u201cNot that I have anything against her at all.\u201d But by then the damage was done. She added that Matty had moved on and was \u201cvery happy with his amazing fiancee\u201d, the California model and singer Gabbriette Bechtel.<\/p>\n <\/span>Photograph: David Titlow\/The Guardian. Dress: Issey Miyake from Selfridges. Earrings and bangles: Dinosaur Designs. Boots: Kalda<\/span><\/p>\n Is it true that part of her new fashion icon status is down to Bechtel? She looks puzzled. Well, I say, I hear\u00a0she\u2019s passing some of the stuff that she gets sent on to you. \u201cOh, listen! She\u2019s a supermodel. Of course she gets sent lots of clothes and of course me and her mum are going to have some. Absolutely<\/em>! I love her, and I\u2019m very happy for the pair of them.\u201d<\/p>\n Is she a better prospective daughter-in-law than Taylor Swift?<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m pleading the fifth!\u201d she says.<\/p>\n We talk about Loose Women, which has just returned after ITV announced swingeing cuts. \u201cWe were all sad about the cuts. Not for us but for the whole team \u2013 200 people lost their jobs. I did the show yesterday and now we\u2019re all together \u2013 This Morning, Lorraine and everything \u2013 there\u2019s a camaraderie. So, yes, we\u2019re disappointed about some of the things, but change happens.\u201d<\/p>\n Anyway, Loose Women is only one of many things keeping her busy, what with all the new acting roles and magazine shoots. It\u2019s funny, Welch says, she thinks she might well be better known today than she was in her Corrie heyday a quarter of a century ago. <\/strong>I ask if it\u2019s true that, at Charli xcx and George Daniel\u2019s wedding, she didn\u2019t have a clue who the A-listers lining up for selfies with her were? She giggles. \u201cWell, you<\/em> wouldn\u2019t!\u201d Who were the most famous people you were photographed with that you didn\u2019t recognise? \u201cWell, Alex Consani, the supermodel. What\u2019s that singer called? Troye Sivan. And Rachel Sennott. Now I do know who they are, it\u2019s, like, oh my <\/em>God<\/em>! They\u2019re fucking huge<\/em>! Rachel Sennott does the kind of work I want to do. Troye Sivan has got 16 million followers!\u201d She whoops with delight. Did they know who you were? \u201cThey knew I was Matty\u2019s mum. I just thought they were a lovely bunch of people.\u201d<\/p>\n Drunk people are the most boring people in the entire universe. I want to smash their faces in. And I was one of them<\/p>\n Trolls scoffed at the idea of her being at the wedding, she says, but she was always going to be there. \u201cI\u2019ve\u00a0known George since he was 12 because George is Matty\u2019s best friend. The 1975 started in my garage. I fed them, I watered them, they stayed at our house. That was why I was at George and Charli\u2019s wedding. It was wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n Was the event heaving with drink and drugs, as people were speculating online? \u201cNo<\/em>!\u201d she says, seemingly shocked. \u201cI don\u2019t drink!\u201d That\u2019s what I\u00a0was thinking, I\u00a0say \u2013 I\u2019d assumed it would have been a\u00a0hedonist\u2019s heaven, and was wondering how she coped. \u201cWell, no, because George and Charli aren\u2019t hedonistic. And if there was, I wasn\u2019t aware of it. Lincoln and I will be at any party if it\u2019s people we love, but as soon as the madness starts <\/strong>\u2013 and I\u2019m talking about the madness now being three glasses of wine because I\u00a0can\u2019t be around drunk people \u2013 we do an Irish or French exit and we\u2019re off.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span>With her son Matty Healy in 2023 \u2026<\/span><\/span>\u2026 and her husband Lincoln Townley last year. Photographs: Justine Palmer; Justin Goff. Both Getty<\/span><\/p>\n Is she ever tempted by booze these days? \u201cI have no desire to join in at any event on the drinking front. We can\u2019t be around drunk people because they are the most boring<\/em> people in the entire universe and I want to smash their faces in. And I was one of them. And when you become sober you realise how little other people have to drink before that \u2018I\u2019m going to punch you\u2019 phase starts. And these are people that you love.\u201d<\/p>\n Her car\u2019s here. Welch is worried we\u2019ve accentuated the negative. \u201cYou will make out that I\u2019m a really fun person as well, won\u2019t you?\u201d Impossible not to, I say. \u201cI\u2019d\u00a0love you to mention the lovely things coming up, too.\u201d Will do, I\u00a0say. \u201cAnd how excited I am about the future?\u201d Yep. \u201cAnd how good I feel mentally at the moment.\u201d Of course.<\/p>\n Before you go, though, I say, I heard you had a funny story about Michael Caine? \u201cEh?\u201d she says. And then she remembers. \u201cOh, yes. We\u2019re very friendly with Michael and [his wife] Shakira because Michael is a huge fan of Lincoln\u2019s work. We went to his 90th birthday and Shakira asked me to say a few words, and I thought how can I<\/em> say a few words at Michael Caine\u2019s birthday? And Tom Cruise and all these people<\/em> are there. And I\u00a0thought I can\u2019t do it, I can\u2019t<\/em>. And then Joan Collins got up and made people laugh. And I thought, \u2018Oh, I can\u2019t have that!\u2019 And I suddenly got up and found myself becoming the Bernard Manning of the room, and Tom\u00a0Cruise literally had his napkin out crying-laughing at me doing Bernard Manning-type jokes.\u201d<\/p>\n Can she tell me one? \u201cOK. Well, this one I personalised it and pretended it was about them. So Michael hears a\u00a0parcel coming in the post and he runs downstairs and he shouts to Shakira, \u2018Amazing, the Olympic condoms have come, and I\u2019m going to wear the gold one tonight!\u2019 And Shakira says, \u2018Well, why not wear the silver one, and come fucking second for a change!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Welch puts on her fake fur and prepares to head off into the cold night.<\/p>\n One more thing, she says on her way out. \u201cI want to say to people that you can still have a\u00a0wonderful life with mental illness.\u201d<\/p>\n I know, I say, all the best people have mental illness.<\/p>\n \u201cYes<\/em>!\u201d she roars. \u201cThey do.\u201d<\/p>\n Waterloo Road is available to watch on BBC iPlayer.<\/p>\n In the UK and Ireland, <\/em>Samaritans<\/em> can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email <\/em>jo@samaritans.org<\/em> or <\/em>jo@samaritans.ie<\/em>. In the US, you can call or text the <\/em>National Suicide Prevention Lifeline<\/em> on 988, chat on <\/em>988lifeline.org<\/em>, or <\/em>text HOME<\/em> to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. In Australia, the crisis support service <\/em>Lifeline<\/em> is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at <\/em>befrienders.org<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Denise Welch doesn\u2019t seem the\u00a0kind of woman who would turn up with an entourage. But here she is\u00a0having her hair primped in a\u00a0makeshift changing room by two people. One tickling her fringe, the other tweaking her tufts. Blimey, I\u00a0say, have you got two assistants? She grins. \u201cNo. There are three.\u201d And now it turns out<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43390,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[712,22701,14314,7486,5569,6338,859,929,9876,22699,22700],"class_list":{"0":"post-43389","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-celebrity","9":"tag-daytime","10":"tag-denise","11":"tag-depression","12":"tag-dramatic","13":"tag-era","14":"tag-ive","15":"tag-loving","16":"tag-renaissance","17":"tag-thrust","18":"tag-welch"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=43389"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43389\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/43390"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=43389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=43389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=43389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}