\n<\/p>\n
Marco Rubio here, with an important announcement: No more Calibri in official State Department communications! Get out of here with your ungarnished lines and provocatively naked terminals! The Biden administration may have shot the serif, switching from Times New Roman on the grounds that serif-less fonts such as Calibri are more accessible to readers with disabilities. That\u2019s all over now.<\/span><\/p>\n The State Department Action Request reads: \u201cTo restore decorum and professionalism to the Department\u2019s written work products and abolish yet another wasteful DEIA [Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Accessibility] program, the Department is returning to Times New Roman as its standard typeface.\u201d<\/p>\n Now you can read a sentence like \u201cYes, the United States did just seize an oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela! Don\u2019t worry about it,\u201d and bask in the sense of absolute decorum that comes from seeing a little serif on all of the relevant letters.<\/p>\n Some further updates to our font preferences:<\/p>\n The Justice Department will be switching to Comic Sans because current fonts have a veneer of professionalism that feels out of place in communications written by Lindsey Halligan. Now all \u201cfundamental misstatements of law\u201d (a judge\u2019s words, not ours!) will be in a font where they will feel more at home.<\/p>\n The Department of Transportation is switching to Goudy Old Style to fix everyone\u2019s biggest problem with air travel: pajamasThe fonts aren\u2019t square enough!<\/p>\n It will also be phasing out Clearview on road signs, on the grounds that this typeface is entirely too legible. Legibility is DEIA at work. People should struggle to read. This is also why we are dismantling the Department of Education.<\/p>\n Also, NASA is going to be using the logo font, where the A\u2019s all look like upside-down V\u2019s, for all communications, just to create an extra challenge for its already-overworked scientists. AAAAAA!<\/p>\n The Treasury Department will be switching to Akkadian cuneiform in honor of Ea-Nasir, our Businessman of the Month! The Trump administration shares his values. We are phasing out the penny, but one thing we\u2019re not phasing out? Quality copper! Just buy some! And if you want to complain about it, write to us in Akkadian cuneiform!<\/p>\n The FBI is communicating entirely in Wingdings; this is because Kash Patel clicked something by mistake and is not actually policy.<\/p>\n The Department of Homeland Security is getting rid of Futura and bringing back our medieval gothic blackletter favorites with a switch to Fraktur. \u201cWhat do you mean, you\u2019re bringing our medieval fonts back? What medieval fonts? What country do you think this is?\u201d Germany, right? 1930s, right? If not, we\u2019re going to be very embarrassed. In general, when selecting a font or making any other kind of design choice, think, Would this look out of place on a Leni Riefenstahl film poster?<\/p>\n The Health and Human Services Department is switching entirely to Papyrus. Finally, a font as embarrassing and unscientific as our ideas. When you read a press release saying that vaccinations are no longer recommended, now it\u2019ll be in a font that looks like it\u2019s advertising tropical-drink specials or chakra alignment.<\/p>\n The Department of Labor will switch to handwriting. Just to create more labor.<\/p>\n The Department of War will not be updating its fonts at this time. Instead, it will be switching from written to verbal communications. This isn\u2019t because we are worried that some of our orders might not be legal. It\u2019s\u2014call and we\u2019ll explain. Just call. Or you can probably reach Pete Hegseth on Signal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Marco Rubio here, with an important announcement: No more Calibri in official State Department communications! Get out of here with your ungarnished lines and provocatively naked terminals! The Biden administration may have shot the serif, switching from Times New Roman on the grounds that serif-less fonts such as Calibri are more accessible to readers with<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36953,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[20535,16369,5469,20533,20534,3426],"class_list":{"0":"post-36952","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-social-issues","8":"tag-fonts","9":"tag-marco","10":"tag-remove","11":"tag-rubio","12":"tag-spoken","13":"tag-woke"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36952","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36952"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36952\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/36953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36952"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36952"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36952"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}