\n<\/p>\n
Late-night hosts reacted to Donald Trump signing a bill to release the Epstein files while still trying to distract from them.<\/p>\n
Stephen Colbert celebrated the impending release of all files related to the late pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. \u201cAfter months of Trump fighting tooth and cankle to hold back the Republican party from doing the right thing, he just went ahead and gave up and signed the bill to release the Epstein files,\u201d the Late Show host explained a day after Congress voted near unanimously to compel the justice department to make the files public within 30 days.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
\u201cEven though Trump told Republicans to all vote for this, he was clearly furious that they did,\u201d Colbert continued. Trump signed the bill after the White House issued a so-called photo lid, which shut down any on-camera opportunities.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe signed it off camera, and he\u2019ll sign anything on camera \u2013 executive orders, sneakers, lady parts, wall parts, a toddler,\u201d he added over clips of Trump\u2019s many strange autograph photo ops. \u201cTrump is avoiding cameras. That\u2019s like the Pillsbury doughboy avoiding nudity.<\/p>\n
\u201cMore proof that these files are making Trump soil his ample briefs?\u201d On Wednesday night, Trump took to Truth Social with a \u201cfull, Unabomber-length manifesto\u201d blaming Democrats. \u201cImagine, if you got that as a text,\u201d said Colbert as he scrolled through the screed. \u201cSomewhere in that Apple terms and conditions-length screed, Trump tried to claim credit for the thing he desperately fought to stop.\u201d<\/p>\n
As Trump put it: \u201cAs everyone knows, I asked Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, and Senate Majority Leader John Thune, to pass this bill \u2026 Because of this request, the votes were almost unanimous in favor of passage.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you know, in a way, he won,\u201d Colbert deadpanned. \u201cIt reminds me of Julius Caesar\u2019s famous last words: \u2018Great job, Brute!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
On Late Night, Seth Meyers also mocked Trump\u2019s tome-length attempt to claim credit for the release of the files. \u201cDon\u2019t try that move where you say \u2018and everyone knows \u2026 \u2019 in hopes that we\u2019re all going to say, \u2018Everyone? But I didn\u2019t know. Am I out of the loop?\u2019\u201d he laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cEveryone knows the opposite was true, because we saw it with our own eyes. You can try to get away with saying \u2018As everyone knows, I have a huge penis.\u2019 But don\u2019t do it while you\u2019re changing at the gym, because people are going to check.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s not forget, the same guy who is now claiming he told the House and the Senate to pass a bill to release the Epstein files also claimed not long ago that those same files were fake,\u201d Meyers added. Moreover, Trump continued to pressure Republicans to back off the files this week, fuming that the attention on Epstein \u201cdeflects from the great job we\u2019ve done\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf there\u2019s nothing bad in the Epstein files for you, then why would it deflect from the great job you\u2019ve done?\u201d Meyers wondered. \u201cThat just sounds even more suspicious. That\u2019s like if your spouse asked to look at your phone, and you respond, \u2018I don\u2019t want my DMs on Instagram to distract from how great our marriage is.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
The Epstein files, capturing the public\u2019s attention at a time when grocery prices are soaring in part due to Trump\u2019s tariffs, represents \u201cthe greatest test yet of Trump\u2019s nearly mystical ability to lie his way out of any problem\u201d, said Meyers. \u201cHe can lie about corruption or climate change or healthcare or fake wars that he fake solved, but he can\u2019t lie about numbers people see with their own eyes every day at the grocery store.<\/p>\n
\u201cTrump is learning the same hard truth that Joe Biden and the Democrats learned last year: you can\u2019t Jedi mind-trick people into thinking the economy is better than what they feel in their lives every day.\u201d<\/p>\n
After ripping Trump for once again attempting to get him fired, Jimmy Kimmel then poked fun at the president being snubbed from Dick Cheney\u2019s funeral. \u201cAll you need to know about what an explosively unstable disaster this man is for this country, is that Dick Cheney \u2013 Dick Cheney<\/em> \u2013 voted for not just a liberal Democrat, a Black female liberal Democrat, over him, his fellow conservative Republican,\u201d he said. \u201cThat\u2019s it! You don\u2019t need to know anything else to know what a garden hose full of diarrhea this presidency has been.\u201d<\/p>\n Kimmel also touched on Trump\u2019s Truth Social manifesto on the Epstein files. \u201cHe signed the bill and then posted this giant run-on sentence taking credit for the fact that the bill got passed. It wouldn\u2019t have passed without him! Another legislative triumph.\u201d<\/p>\n The justice department now has 30 days to release the files, \u201cwhich will make for a very merry Christmas indeed\u201d, said Kimmel. \u201cI have a prediction for the next 30 days. I think we\u2019re going to see Trump do some of the craziest shit yet. I think he\u2019s taking it up to a level 11 in the next 30 days. He\u2019s already started.\u201d<\/p>\n Kimmel pointed to a group of six Democratic lawmakers, all of whom served in the military or the intelligence community, who grew so concerned about Trump\u2019s handling of the armed forces that they made a video reminding troops that they are not legally required to follow illegal orders.<\/p>\n Trump, of course, took to Truth Social again, calling the video \u201cSEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR FROM TRAITORS!!!\u201d that was \u201cpunishable by DEATH!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe all-capped his pants on this one,\u201d Kimmel laughed. \u201cNo big deal though, just the president of the United States musing about Congress-people being executed.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Late-night hosts reacted to Donald Trump signing a bill to release the Epstein files while still trying to distract from them. Stephen Colbert Stephen Colbert celebrated the impending release of all files related to the late pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. \u201cAfter months of Trump fighting tooth and cankle to hold back the Republican party from doing<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":34910,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[19774,4263,3703,7865,3093,447,448,2039,10098,81],"class_list":{"0":"post-34909","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-cankle","9":"tag-colbert","10":"tag-epstein","11":"tag-fighting","12":"tag-files","13":"tag-latenight","14":"tag-roundup","15":"tag-stephen","16":"tag-tooth","17":"tag-trump"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34909\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/34910"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}