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W<\/span>hat I love about social media in 2025 is how there\u2019s always a new source of insecurity to develop \u2013 should I fibremaxx? Do I need a deep-plane facelift? Am I a narcissist? Are my ankles betraying me? This week\u2019s is: cleaning the bread knife. Apparently the (mostly British) habit of just wiping our breadknives after use, possibly on our sleeves, and putting them back in the drawer, as showcased in online skits and cartoons, is \u201cgross\u201d, unhygienic and the reason people refuse to eat outside their own home.<\/p>\n As far as I\u2019m aware, our bread knife has never seen a drawer. It doesn\u2019t even get wiped, just washed when it meets an especially oily focaccia. It lives on the breadboard with several weeks\u2019 worth of crumbs and I thought that was normal \u2013 surely there are no bacteria in crumbs<\/em>? I still think it\u2019s normal \u2013 plenty of people online admitted to the cursory wipe. But they did so in a way that made it sound like their most transgressive, depraved habit, adding to my growing unease that whenever one of these hygiene \u201ccontroversies\u201d rears its head, I\u2019m on the side of grossness.<\/p>\n Sheets? Yeah, they\u2019re not getting changed weekly; towels, ditto. My sports kit gets washed occasionally in line with French government advice \u2013 as a French citizen, I consider that my patriotic duty. Bras: Rigby & Peller say you can get away with multiple wears if you have several in rotation (though I\u2019m stretching that past what the late queen\u2019s personal upholsterers would approve of). When it comes to my phone screen, well, I have the robust microbiome of a medieval peasant and rarely get sick, so what\u2019s the problem?<\/p>\n I\u2019m admitting this chiefly as a public service for fellow slatterns, made to feel disgusting when they see green nauseated emojis deployed in reaction to stuff they thought was perfectly acceptable. Me too, my grubby friends \u2013 you are not alone. But if it also means more fastidious acquaintances decide they never want to come and stay (though guests get clean sheets \u2013 I\u2019m not a monster!), eat or cut bread here, it\u2019s probably for the best.<\/p>\n Emma Beddington is a Guardian columnist<\/p>\n