\n<\/p>\n
Name:<\/strong> Conkers.<\/p>\n Age: <\/strong>Introduced to the UK 409 years ago.<\/p>\n Appearance:<\/strong> Nature\u2019s Labubu.<\/p>\n No, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s right.<\/strong> It is. Go and watch a TikTok of someone unboxing a conker, and you\u2019ll almost certainly hear them call it \u201cnature\u2019s Labubu\u201d.<\/p>\n Unboxing conkers? What on <\/strong>earth are you talking about?<\/strong> Oh wow, you really are out of the loop, aren\u2019t you? Gen Zers are taking to TikTok to film themselves unpeeling conkers from their spiky capsules.<\/p>\n But why? <\/strong>Because of the sense of wonder! When you unbox a conker, you never know what you\u2019re going to get. Will it be big? Will it be flat? How shiny will it be? It is like a mystery box every time!<\/p>\n Are Labubus big and flat and shiny? <\/strong>No, they\u2019re vaguely hellish-looking dolls that have become collectible because they also come in mystery boxes.<\/p>\n Can someone please tell <\/strong>gen Z that <\/strong>they\u2019<\/strong>re <\/strong>doing conkers wrong?<\/strong> Are they? How do you do conkers, then?<\/p>\n You put a shoelace through the middle of them, and try to destroy everyone else\u2019s conkers.<\/strong> Wow, really? That\u2019s bizarre.<\/p>\n Yeah<\/strong>. You\u2019ll <\/strong>have a much better chance of winning if you<\/strong> soak the conker in vinegar overnight and then bake it<\/strong> like a pie.<\/strong> Seriously?<\/p>\n Seriously. And <\/strong>if you end up collecting too many conkers, you can hurl them across the playground <\/strong>and all the other kids will fight each other for them.<\/strong> A beautiful, natural thing like a conker, and you use it as a weapon? A weapon that comes with a long set of arcane and bewildering rules?<\/p>\n It\u2019s traditional! <\/strong>King Charles literally just presented the <\/strong>World Conker Championships<\/strong> with a gift of 300 conkers! <\/strong>At least gen Z is only filming them.<\/p>\n Why don\u2019t you know this?<\/strong> At a guess, because some schools started banning conkers as a game two decades ago, due to various health and safety fears.<\/p>\n The modern world never fails to amaze me.<\/strong> Maybe unboxing conkers just isn\u2019t your thing. In which case, perhaps you would be better suited to some other hot new gen Z trends.<\/p>\n Oh really? Like what?<\/strong> Well, there\u2019s this thing called knitting, and something else called pottery that I can explain to you.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve had knitting and pottery for centuries!<\/strong> Let me guess, you boil the needles in cider and then use them to poke each other?<\/p>\n No! <\/strong>OK, calm down. I assumed that all old-people traditions involved violence in some form, after that conker thing.<\/p>\n I feel<\/strong> stressed.<\/strong> Take a breath. If you need me, I\u2019ll be unboxing seeds for clicks.<\/p>\n Do say:<\/strong> \u201cTikTok can\u2019t stop filming conker reveals.\u201d<\/p>\n Don\u2019t say:<\/strong> \u201cThis is nuts.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Name: Conkers. Age: Introduced to the UK 409 years ago. Appearance: Nature\u2019s Labubu. No, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s right. It is. Go and watch a TikTok of someone unboxing a conker, and you\u2019ll almost certainly hear them call it \u201cnature\u2019s Labubu\u201d. Unboxing conkers? What on earth are you talking about? Oh wow, you really are<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27894,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[16606,86,7661,16604,544,16605],"class_list":{"0":"post-27893","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-technology","8":"tag-conkers","9":"tag-gen","10":"tag-labubu","11":"tag-natures","12":"tag-tiktok","13":"tag-unboxing"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27893"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27893\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/27894"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}