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W<\/span>hen rightwing commentator Charlie Kirk was killed last month, footage of his shooting spread rapidly across social media. Today, anyone with a smartphone can access gruesome videos and images \u2013 as well as troves of misinformation. Though some experts have been sounding the alarm about the potential harm <\/strong>of smartphones on children and teen\u2019s mental health, the fact is most young people still have access to phones \u2013 and the often disturbing content that flows out of them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Guardian\u2019s journalism is independent. We will earn a commission if you buy something through an affiliate link.\u00a0Learn more.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n The Guardian spoke with seven experts on how best to speak with kids about upsetting content and news, at what age to start those conversations \u2013 and what to avoid.<\/p>\n Panel of experts:<\/strong><\/p>\n Anya Kamenetz, journalist and publisher of The Golden Hour newsletter<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Eugene Beresin, MD, psychiatrist and executive director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts general hospital<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Tara Conley, assistant professor of media and journalism at Kent State University<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Tori Cordiano, PhD, Ohio-based licensed clinical psychologist<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Jill Murphy, chief content officer of Common Sense Media<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Ashley Rogers Berner, <\/strong>professor at Johns Hopkins University<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Holly Korbey, author of Building Better Citizens<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n What\u2019s the best way to talk to kids about bad news \u2013 whether it\u2019s a public assassination, a school shooting<\/strong> or a climate-related disaster?<\/strong><\/p>\n Anya Kamenetz:<\/strong> First, find out what they already know or have heard. Kids are overhearing things at school and seeing snippets on social media, so it\u2019s important that you know what they have heard. You can dispel any misconceptions with some clear facts. Look online together, to model balanced consumption of information. Once you\u2019ve filled in some basics, ask if they have any questions. Then, ask how they are feeling about it.<\/p>\n Eugene Beresin:<\/strong> Kids of all ages have three concerns. Am I safe? Are you taking care of me? How will this affect my life? So you want to ask what they\u2019re worried about, listen, validate their feelings and be available for questions.<\/p>\n Tara Conley:<\/strong> There are practical ways to create communication channels to talk to kids when the news is upsetting. For example, consider establishing a family group chat. Create online and offline spaces where a young person can feel part of a tight- knit group.<\/p>\n What are the best ways to talk to kids about graphic content, like the shooting of Charlie Kirk?<\/strong><\/p>\n Tori Cordiano:<\/strong> I personally know a lot of teenagers who, without even realizing what they were looking at, stumbled into the and were really shocked. Especially with younger kids, there may be some sense of: \u2018I can\u2019t even tell my parents because I wasn\u2019t supposed to see in the first place.\u2019<\/p>\n It\u2019s important that they\u2019re able to talk about it with a trusted adult. You might say: \u2018You may not have known what you really were looking at, or you maybe did seek it out, and that\u2019s understandable because you wanted to know what was going on. What we know is we don\u2019t want to continue to seek out those sorts of videos and images, because they do have a lasting impact on our brain.\u2019<\/p>\n Ashley Rogers Berner: <\/strong>When children hear about an assassination or other acts of political violence, it\u2019s important to be truthful with them. Parents can reinforce the rules of democracy, such as that we deal with disagreements peacefully and without violence. They can reassure their children that the government\u2019s job is to find and hold accountable any perpetrators of violent behavior, and that such violence is rare.<\/p>\n How do you help kids navigate misinformation?<\/strong><\/p>\n Holly Korbey:<\/strong> Parents need to understand that when kids have phones, they have unending exposure to the worst things happening in the world, and almost immediately on TikTok and Instagram, the facts of what happened get twisted instantly. What\u2019s more, political leaders are saying, \u2018Don\u2019t trust the news,\u2019 so people are just so confused.<\/p>\n A parent\u2019s job can be to say: \u2018Let\u2019s just go over what the facts are. If you\u2019ve heard something really scary, go to a journalistic outlet and see if that\u2019s even right.\u2019<\/p>\n Cordiano: <\/strong>Kids are drawn to phones because it\u2019s an important way that they communicate with their peers and learn about their world. I don\u2019t think we\u2019re smart to just put that to the side. Instead we should think about the habits we want them to start developing at a young age around technology use: where they\u2019re using their devices, when they\u2019re using their devices, for how long they\u2019re using their devices and what they\u2019re accessing.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t think of this as a one-size-fits-all approach, but generally starting with more restrictions (fewer apps, including social media, and tighter time limits) can be helpful when kids first have access to a phone or tablet. For all kids, avoiding keeping devices in their bedroom overnight, or for younger kids, avoiding using their devices behind closed doors, is helpful. I often recommend Common Sense Media to families looking for resources on this topic.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Conley: <\/strong>Instilling critical media literacy skills in children and young people early on \u2013 by helping them understand how media and technologies influence social behaviors and social life \u2013 goes a long way, said Conley. I offer parents\/caregivers some tips here: Tips for Adults Supporting Kids Consuming Scary News. The American Academy of Pediatrics also provides information on How to Make a Family Media Plan.<\/p>\n There\u2019s so much vitriol and polarization in our politics. How do you handle those conversations?<\/strong><\/p>\n Korbey:<\/strong> I tell my kids that [no topic] is off limits. Students who are exposed to controversial topics and allowed to talk about them end up becoming more politically active later. We have arguments at the dinner table. I think that\u2019s good.<\/p>\n Jill Murphy:<\/strong> Kids and teens will have plenty of questions, and it may also be a launchpad for a deeper conversation about a political or cultural issue. Parents should remind kids of their values and points of view, while hearing what their kids are gravitating towards and wondering about.<\/p>\n What should parents and caregivers avoid when talking to kids about the news?<\/strong><\/p>\n Kamentz: <\/strong>Avoid having TV news on in the background. I hate to say this because I used to work for NPR and grew up listening to it from the backseat, but depending on the story unfolding, you might want to limit that exposure as well. Depending on your kids\u2019 age, you don\u2019t necessarily have to volunteer lots of information when they have not asked. Kids take in information at their own pace and have widely varying developmental needs.<\/p>\n Conley: <\/strong>It\u2019s probably best to avoid pretending we know everything and can explain away upsetting news. Kids can tell. We owe them our humility, not hubris.<\/p>\n How do you reassure kids when they\u2019re concerned about very real risks to their own safety, such as climate change, school shootings, immigration raids<\/strong> and police violence?<\/strong><\/p>\n Conley: <\/strong>I was in college, a lot was going on in the world from 9\/11 to Hurricane Katrina, to the BP oil spill, to the Great Recession. During that time, and before he passed away, my dad wrote me letters. Sometimes he\u2019d offer guidance, sometimes he\u2019d just offer thoughts of encouragement. I still have his letters. I pull them out whenever I need a reminder of our shared humanity.<\/p>\n So, when talking with parents and educators, I offer a practical letter writing activity. Simply writing a letter to a young person in your life can go a long way.<\/p>\n Cordiano: <\/strong>When a school shooting happens, it\u2019s not our job to make them more<\/em> upset about it. What we do want to make sure of is that they take safety drills at school seriously, and that they\u2019re paying attention to the guidance that we get from the school.<\/p>\n How do you reassure kids when you, as a parent, are afraid or upset by the news?<\/strong><\/p>\n Kamentz: <\/strong>Put on your own oxygen mask first, and make sure you have supportive adults to share your concerns with. Model healthy news consumption [by] avoiding doomscrolling before bed and maintaining family routines as a news-free zone.<\/p>\n Conley:<\/strong> I encourage young people and adults to not only find the helpers (shoutout to Mr Fred Rogers) but also be a helper<\/em>. Recent studies suggest giving support, for example through volunteering, helps us all cope and better deal with constant stressors. We feel better when we help others.<\/p>\n When is the best age to start those conversations?<\/strong><\/p>\n Murphy: <\/strong>Kids and teens are exposed to news at a rapid rate, often hearing about events from influencers. Because of this, it\u2019s best for parents to begin discussions with kids early, sharing age-appropriate information.<\/p>\n Kamentz:<\/strong> The reality is we don\u2019t always choose. I didn\u2019t want to have to explain to my three-year-old that school was closed because of a global pandemic, and that she had to wear a mask and couldn\u2019t go inside the supermarket, but that\u2019s what happened, and I have a happy, healthy eight-year-old today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When rightwing commentator Charlie Kirk was killed last month, footage of his shooting spread rapidly across social media. Today, anyone with a smartphone can access gruesome videos and images \u2013 as well as troves of misinformation. Though some experts have been sounding the alarm about the potential harm of smartphones on children and teen\u2019s mental<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26487,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[320,146,665,150,2318,630,213,15902,1388],"class_list":{"0":"post-26486","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-technology","8":"tag-experts","9":"tag-kids","10":"tag-limits","11":"tag-news","12":"tag-parenting","13":"tag-parents","14":"tag-talk","15":"tag-topic","16":"tag-violence"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26486","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26486"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26486\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/26487"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26486"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26486"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naijaglobalnews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26486"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n